New writing, art, photography, and essays from Percept Indexhttps://perceptindex.com/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260507/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260507This morning was very difficult to get going. Out of habit I got up around 4:30 AM anyway and got ready to go into my garage gym. As I did my best to wake up while staring at my squat rack and all the heavy equipment I noticed that not only were my top eyelids closing but also the bottom ones didn't want to cooperate. I decided that the situation was perfect to acquire an injury or two, so without thinking much more about it I turned around and went back to bed.Thu, 07 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260506/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260506It's been a casual kind of start to the week regarding my practice. Well, regarding the meditation part of the practice it's been about the same level of dedication (daily); however, when it came to notes and tiny illustrations I decided to take a small break. My birthday was this Monday, **May The 4th Be With You!** So, I felt like just slowing down a bit and enjoying my evenings.Wed, 06 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260503/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260503The week's sessions were modest. Monday through Thursday I was on a working schedule, so the time available for any single session was a 30-minute working-day window. I did not have a notable immersive session this week, nor last week, nor the week before, nor the week before that... the drought has continued for the sixth week in a row.Sun, 03 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260502/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260502I've written near and around my personal practice, Agile Awareness, in my last two essays, scattered over various Field Notes, and bits and pieces in other scraps. I have yet to address it directly. After some serious thread pulling, I've realized that a string of recent meditation queries have woven those threads into a tapestry that not only describes my current physical existence but more importantly the practice that I've arrived at.Sat, 02 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260501/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260501We are in the process of transitioning into warmer weather and that means I'm in the process of transitioning to longer distances for my morning runs. I feel absolutely awesome regarding the change and at the same time absolutely tired this week. This morning I ran a nice and easy 10 mile route, totalling the week at 25 miles, which is a 4 mile increase from what I've been doing for the last 4 months. Within the next month or so I will continue to slowly increment my total weekly mileage to be somewhere near the 30 mile mark.Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260429/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260429For the first time this year I finished my morning run with sunshine in my eyes. The way I like to structure my routes is so that the last quarter of the run is always in the direction where I will face the rising sun. No matter how hard I'm working, no matter how exhausted I am from the mileage already behind me, no matter what's on my mind... the moment when the rising sun's rays hit my face and eyes is more invigorating than six cups of coffee. I can't recommend it enough.Wed, 29 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260428/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260428Half of last year I kept having lucid dreams I called staging. Every single one ended the same way — I'd sink, spiral, spin down into a void. I read them as endings. They weren't. They were the instruction, repeated over and over until I finally tested it this past weekend and went down instead of up during transitions.Tue, 28 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260427/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260427This past weekend my family and I were sitting down at our local In-N-Out as we usually do on Saturdays. It was very busy but we were lucky enough to grab a few seats at a bar section next to an older gentleman as we waited for our "to-go" order to be called. The older man moved one seat over to let me have a chance to sit down as well, I thanked him and we struck up a conversation as we all waited there.Mon, 27 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260426/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260426This has been an interesting week of same ol' struggles that I've been facing over the past few weeks and a couple of new discoveries that are shaking me out of the perceived rut. I feel like I'm methodically working my way back up out of a valley with the recent progress. I've also begun to change how I use some of my tools for consciousness exploration and I'm liking the results.Sun, 26 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260425/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260425A little over half a year ago I began to use session questions in my practice as a general guide for meditations. The idea came from solving a particular problem that would creep up now and again: lack of direction, desire to continue learning but without a guiding principle of where to even begin looking.Sat, 25 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260424/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260424It's a "working Friday," which means one less day this week of a longer and more substantial session that I typically like to run on my days off. Not a problem at all, the Field Notes during these weeks just tend to be on the thinner side when it comes to substance.Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260423/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260423Another restorative session. There was no particular goal with this one other than problem solving regarding a particular task that I am tackling at my agency.Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260422/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260422Had a minor break in my practice at the start of the week. Monday I had time for a short 15 minute meditation while at the office and the following day, yesterday, I had to skip it entirely due to an event at my agency. These things happen and I'm being more forgiving to myself about it as it's definitely one of those attributes about myself that can and will be polished.Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260419/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260419Sunday afternoon meditation and subsequent lack of immersive altered states was a perfect summation of this past week. I woke up this morning in an "off" mood, much like most of the week. The session in general was technically sound like it's been all week but lacked in substance, like it has all week.Sun, 19 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260418/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260418Yesterday's session yielded some interesting artifacts but remained mostly unclear on the overall purpose. The query, "Who is being called?" was cast in F15 (beyond time) and F18 (heart energy). Today the decision was to continue yesterday's inquiry in F21 (bridge to other realities).Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260417/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260417I had an open early morning today so I took it as an opportunity to check out a "new to me" track. I tend to go pretty open-ended when I try new stuff, maybe one basic goal but overall mostly to observe. So, that's what I did this morning.Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260416/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260416I didn't have a goal with this meditation other than to decompress really quickly and then get back to my tasks for the day. It's been a bit more hectic than usual lately, so I'm taking less time than usual during afternoon sessions.Thu, 16 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260415/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260415It's the middle of the week and time to recharge the ol' energy centers. Just as planned, I am doing all of this unguided now. I believe this is the second time that I've done this session sans Sutphen's tape, which I've used for over a year or longer.Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260414/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260414Happy little accidents keep happening. I will be experimenting with making a stamp for these frames. I think initially just the frame itself with the box for the date (yyyymmdd) and another box for the sigil. After some practice I'll be working the sigil into a new frame stamp.Tue, 14 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260413/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260413Only had time for a quick "body nap." Sat in my truck and settled into F10 (mind awake, body asleep), and just observed thoughts for a bit.Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260412/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260412It hasn't been what I'd call "a typical week" but compared to some other ones in recent memory, it wasn't all that bad. What has been interesting is reflecting back on the recent Mercury Retrograde and how things have been since it's been over.Sun, 12 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260411/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260411Some weeks it takes a few sessions to come to a conclusion that asking for help to get unstuck is totally fine and probably the right call to begin with. Such an ask can come in the form of an open-ended question or a direct appeal to guides. Typically I'll proceed with the former before resorting to the latter.Sat, 11 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260410/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260410Yesterday my two attempts to meditate all began very well and textbook but both times I was interrupted mid-way through and had to give up for the day in the end. Today I was able to get a full 30 minute session in but was plagued by fatigue and back-to-back clickouts. It's been an odd kind of week.Fri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260409/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260409Laid down for a quick 30-minute meditation this afternoon and was interrupted midway through. Laid down again and got interrupted a second time. Took that as a sign.Thu, 09 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260408/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260408Mid-week sessions typically include a guided chakra balancing meditation but I've decided to move away from a specific aspect of this and take a more active role in the process. Starting today and moving forward I run these sessions completely unguided.Wed, 08 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260407/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260407As I open the green medieval-style arched door I see the concrete slab that it's standing on and the stairs that lead up to the Percept Tower entrance.Tue, 07 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260406/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260406Quick and easy "defrag" session at the office. This morning I went on an 8.5-mile run, finally got to stretch my legs and dump a ton of physical energy. Today's emblem is an ode to the "old masters" who, by their own documentation, appeared to be rock-solid persistent hunters and efficient illustrators. Just like me.Mon, 06 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260405/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260405This was an interesting week. I started it all off on Monday by thinking I was well enough to go on an 8 mile run, I then ended up cutting the run short to 5.5 miles because I was about to crap myself. After realizing that I'm just not physically back to where I need to be, I dedicated my early mornings to meditation focused on recovery and a new method exploration.Sun, 05 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260404/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260404Based on frustrations from yesterday's afternoon session, today the focus was on shutting down the analytical mind with a new affirmation/process. When I do this it usually takes a little bit of time to entrain, but it's very reliable moving forward. Overall the process worked well and I enjoyed the meditation free of the monkey brain's antics.Sat, 04 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260403/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260403This isn't the last time I will be performing this exercise, but in the context of this week I believe I have gained good information from the total of 4 sessions. Today's effects of vibrations arising from a mental movement of a focused point did not disappoint, but were also on the weaker side. I have yet to recreate the same intensity as I had with the first session, but at the very least vibrations were produced in every single session.Fri, 03 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260402/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260402Duplicated the same session as I did yesterday morning except this time I didn't linger in F10 (mind awake/body asleep) and expanded into F12 (expanded awareness) before initiating the exercise.Thu, 02 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260401/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260401About a year ago I stumbled on a Reddit thread regarding extra meditation tracks from The Gateway Experience. The particular set that was discussed was *Journeys Out Of The Body*, which contains 4 tracks that are each 60 minutes long. They piqued my interest initially because these were the ones that a few folks who have been doing this for a long time were pointing to regarding training for OBE directly from a meditative state.Wed, 01 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260331/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260331When I get headaches it feels as if the tip of a very sharp spear is moments away from resting its heavy, dense, metallic, razor-sharp point on top of my tiny bald head.Tue, 31 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260330/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260330I had a nice meditation this afternoon but it was literally just that. About 30 minutes of decompression and healing, not thinking, not noticing, not anything.Mon, 30 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260329/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260329It's been a full week since our latest family crisis began and we're now starting to shift out of the fog. Last Sunday morning began with Kim taking our youngest boy to Children's Hospital; he was admitted soon after and remained in hospital care until Wednesday evening. Everyone is home and recovering now — out of the five of us (dog included), he is by far the one who's doing the best.Sun, 29 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260328/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260328If identification with mind is the original sin — the moment presence is lost and duality begins — then the practice that systematically dissolves that identification is not a deviation from the sacred but rather a direct path back to it.Sat, 28 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260328/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260328While still feeling "under the weather" but beginning to sense the sun peek through, I thought today would be a decent "return to the normal" day of practice. About an hour before lying down I felt a subtle surge of energy, a slow and steady hum of electricity radiating from within.Sat, 28 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260327/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260327Today's Emblem belongs to the essay If Stillness Is Sin: On the Inversion and the Way Home.Fri, 27 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260326/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260326Last Sunday morning kicked off a very busy, stressful, and emotionally demanding string of days that came to an end Tuesday evening. In the process of handling everything, taking care of everyone, and dealing with completely unnecessary additional stress on top of that, Kim and I both came down with Human metapneumovirus (hMPV). It sucks. What virus doesn't suck though?Thu, 26 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260322/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260322This week's retrospective severely lacks content and it's for a good reason. We're dealing with some family matters revolving around a medical emergency. I will resume as things get more under control and we get our house back in order.Sun, 22 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260321/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260321Today's session picked up and expanded on where yesterday's ended, though I'm still very much in the discovery phase of it all. I say this somewhat conservatively because I feel like the progress is now well outside of discovery and is in the process of moving into an experience, and I can't help but feel that knowing is just around the corner.Sat, 21 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260320/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260320I've been a bit preoccupied with reconfiguring the Percept Index website by expanding the Field Notes into their own section, refactoring the main landing, collections, etc. The biggest lift is yet to come as I still need to upgrade the framework that this entire publication is built on. For this reason, half an hour is all the time that I had today to "knock on the sky."Fri, 20 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260319/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260319The last couple of days have felt like a fog has begun to lift and clear blue sky starting to poke through the thick vapor. I retreated so far inward in the recent weeks that this emergence is feeling both like an old friend coming back and like I'm about to learn something new. Just a hunch, we'll see what's ahead soon enough.Thu, 19 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260318/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260318Weekly energy refresh. Honestly, I'd do this more often if time allowed. Today's Field Notes entry is short and sweet — what are you going to do with all the extra time!?Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260317/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260317Another short session as time got away from me yet again. I'm revisiting F15 (place without time) as I realized that while I don't usually spend time in this focus state, it's probably the best one for a "simply be" kind of meditation.Tue, 17 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260316/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260316While going to sleep last night a thought on retrocausality struck me. Went over it again during my run this morning and now writing a short essay on it. Stay tuned. Who knows, maybe I began writing it several times and only now signaling to my present-self that this is the one.Mon, 16 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260315/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260315If you've been following the daily entries, this week's theme has been loss and grief. My intention is never to make anyone cry, upset, or depleted after reading any one of these entries; instead, through my documentation and illumination of the days I fully intend to expand your perception.Sun, 15 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260314/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260314Going into the regularly scheduled afternoon session today I already knew what would be the topic and outcome. You don't simply snap your fingers and get over the loss of a family member of 13 years. During the sweet girl's last days she was suffering, and the heartache from that only had one solution for both her and the family. You grieve before it happens and you grieve in the aftermath, no matter how right you were by her... it's still a loss.Sat, 14 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260313/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260313Today's Field Notes are about remembering an individual who truly understood unconditional love, embodied presence, and possessed an automatic smile whenever there was a camera around. That last part is especially unique for a dog. Zoe was our first dog, our first joint responsibility, and a furry fixture of our family for 13 years.Fri, 13 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260312/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260312Today's primary theme is a somber mood and feeling the weight of this oddly heavy week. I'm not falling apart emotionally, but I'm also not exactly quite like myself. Tomorrow Kim and I will be doing something that not a single dog owner looks forward to but knows the inevitability will surely come one day — we're taking our old sweet girl to cross the rainbow bridge.Thu, 12 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260311/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260311As usual it is the middle of the week and a good time to do a bit of maintenance before heavier sessions in the second half of the weekly cycle. Having said that, I've noticed a pattern, of course, with these sessions.Wed, 11 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260310/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260310Finally had decent sleep and rest last night, didn't have to skip my mid-day "defrag" today as well. Since I only had 15 minutes to spare this afternoon, I took this time to do a simple meditation of presence.Tue, 10 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260309/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260309Very short on sleep, too busy at work, and worried about a family member most of the day. No meditation. I'm exhausted.Mon, 09 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260308/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260308This past week marks a transformation of not only Field Notes but also a quiet homecoming of Percept Index. This project began a little over a year ago with the following guiding principle: document altered states, seek clarity in experience, do the work in an open and transparent space.Sun, 08 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260307/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260307I entered this session with the intent and question, "What if nothing more needs to be built right now?" It was an interesting experiment that I believe resulted in a seemingly unrelated interaction and subsequently a reaction, not my own, a little while after.Sat, 07 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260306/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260306What started out as a lazy Friday afternoon meditation had an unexpected, energetic, and curious follow-up or two. Today I entered the session with an intent and an eventual question for F18 state, "What's already in motion that I haven't seen yet?" The process itself is well talked about already so I won't spend time describing how my tired awareness was groggily navigating meditative states, stalling here and there but eventually completing the mission. I will say this, I haven't had a sharp and ultra aware meditation for a while but I'm not stressing out about it, there's been a lot of external factors as of late.Fri, 06 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260305/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260305Today has been full of sizeable challenges and small annoyances. Quite honestly, if you follow Mercury Retrograde periods, it's been typical of that. My internal state during this period continues to be calm, clear, and even. Beneath that it is draining. I'm recognizing that a significant portion of my energy is devoted to nonreaction and processing in the face of these challenges and annoyances.Thu, 05 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260304/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260304It's the middle of the week and that means it's time to refresh the ol' etheric double. I've been running on fumes, or near fumes, for a few days so I really felt that I needed to get this done today.Wed, 04 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260303/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260303Our youngest boy is continuing to recover from pneumonia, so for the second week in a row and due to circumstances I took today off from work to be with him. After finishing his lunch, taking the antibiotic, and going down for a nap, I followed suit and took the extra time to catch some rest myself.Tue, 03 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260302/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260302My typical short and effective lunchtime session was under threat today. First came the rapid-fire interference as soon as the lunch hour hit. All good, it's a busy Monday. Then nature called, no big deal. Finally, technical difficulties really ramped up to put the whole experience in jeopardy, but I overcame it.Mon, 02 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260301/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260301Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for February 23rd through March 1st, 2026.Sun, 01 Mar 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260226/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260226Then, through void-colored shadows I saw a tiny mantid peering up at me. Small thin chin, huge black eyes, triangular shape of the head, thin neck, body in forward position as if leaning in to look at me but still from below of my perspective, if that makes any sense. The feeling I got from this encounter, with how it moved, was that it was doing its best to maintain staying hidden from me as if playing “peek-a-boo.”Thu, 26 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260222/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260222Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for February 16th through February 22nd, 2026.Sun, 22 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260219/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260219Rested in my awareness, slightly more alert than usual. Began to drift, let myself do this as it felt needed. Nothing happened except one brief moment: I saw “3:33” flash in front of me. White text against the void, slightly off-center favoring top-left, slightly skewed downward (last three sliding to bottom-right). Don’t believe the positioning means anything.Thu, 19 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260215/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260215Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for February 9th through February 15th, 2026.Sun, 15 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260211/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260211The inversion is insidious. Take an empowerment technology (Christ Consciousness as direct access to non-local reality) and weaponize it into passivity by externalizing the source. 'Wait for salvation' replaces 'you have the kingdom within you.' The prophecy itself becomes the control mechanism.Wed, 11 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260208/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260208Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for February 2nd through February 8th, 2026.Sun, 08 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260206/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260206The most dangerous prophecy doesn't fail to come true—it's specifically designed to keep you waiting forever. When you convince people that salvation comes from outside, that they need to wait for someone else to fix things, to save them, to reveal truth, you've built the perfect control system. One that runs on hope turned into passivity.Fri, 06 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260124/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260124Now that I've felt it, I can recognize it and flow through it. By overanalyzing what was occurring, I built my own wall and rickety ladder. The subconscious stood at the bottom of it all and looked up at me climbing, shaking its head, through a door which was wide open this whole time. That was the most important message I was meant to receive at this time.Wed, 04 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260201/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260201Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for January 26th through February 1st, 2026.Sun, 01 Feb 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260124/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260124For months I kept slamming into the same wall. Lucid in a dream, attempting to "meditate my way into projection," and either collapsing back to waking or losing lucidity entirely. I've known about staging lucid dreams for further altered state exploration and have had most of my success in projecting through this exact modality. The success rate has always been about 20% and for a long stretch last year I felt like every time I transitioned from a lucid dream into projection it broke down or failed to launch almost immediately. I understood it intellectually. But I couldn't execute it. January 24th showed me why.Thu, 29 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260125/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260125Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for January 7th through January 11th, 2026.Sun, 25 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260117/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260117With the first month of the new year halfway through, a little voice, subconscious, in my mind nudged me to open this track again as it's been a while. The way I like to approach these sessions is to think deeply about what I want to manifest, complete the meditation, and promptly forget all about what I patterned.Sat, 24 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260122/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260122Early on in working through The Gateway Experience tapes, a particular session became an instant staple in my practice, just like for many others. There are other tracks throughout the entire program which I've identified as "practical" and continue to return to, but this one takes the prize for most used. I'm talking about "The Gateway Experience -- Wave II - Threshold -- One-Month Patterning".Thu, 22 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260118/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260118Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for January 7th through January 11th, 2026.Sun, 18 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260115/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260115He leans over and whispers something into the bear’s ear, then he mounts the brown beast like a horse. The bear and the rider take off through the snow-covered ground. It appears that I’m observing from a bird’s-eye view, like an eagle or owl flying above the dream’s subjects. It’s a crisp winter day; you can see their breath trailing even from my very high vantage point.Thu, 15 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260115/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260115On January 11, 2026, I laid down for a guided self-hypnosis session, one of Dick Sutphen's Astral Projection Workshop tracks. It's an old one that I've been returning to when I don't really feel like I have a particular direction to focus on and am limited on time. I've mentioned the following many times before: I absolutely love the depths that Sutphen's method takes me to. By the time you're taken further into the deep end, you begin to really understand what riding the razor's edge between losing consciousness and being aware is. The best part is how heavy and non-existent the physical body becomes, which is absolutely crucial.Thu, 15 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260111/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260111Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for January 7th through January 11th, 2026.Sun, 11 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260109/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260109At first it was geometric, round circles for eyes and mouth. Then, very rapidly, it began changing into different faces. They were speaking in unison, single message rather than each having their own. I could not hear anything but the emotion from the perceived data was that it was all the same message.Fri, 09 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260109/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260109During one of my familiar, and at this point staple, stops in Focus 12 I inadvertently set off a cascade of events that helped bring into focus what I've been suspecting for quite a while. The first section is purely personal and subjective but it is important to observe before laying out the hypothesis. I will paraphrase before expanding on everything: What appeared initially as personal communications from guides have transmuted into a much more digestible and broadly defined communication modality.Fri, 09 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20260102/https://perceptindex.com/art/20260102I want to see these things, I want to learn, but I also must understand that these incredibly subjective experiences must be handled carefully and most of all to avoid over-attachment to any one thing. Of course it’s impossible to learn about yourself or others without entangling the ego. Ego is history, but the more we identify with that the less we are ourselves, less conscious and in control. The elephant knows, that’s why it’s laughing. Perhaps it was me who’s laughing, or is that over-attachment?Wed, 07 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260107/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260107On December 31st, 2025, I consumed 4.5 grams of Golden Teacher psilocybin. My ADHD brain processes the compound differently than most - instead of flooding the visual cortex it routes straight to cognition, amplifying the already multi-threaded thought processes running in parallel. Zero visuals during the peak, just 10+ tracks of thought simultaneously unfolding. I ended up meditating through it, watching the elephant symbolism arrive: historical images, intimate close-ups, and one particular elephant face smiling, laughing. The laughter felt welcoming but also knowing - it recognized the performance aspect, the ego wanting to see, wanting to learn, the impossibility of self-exploration without ego entanglement. The elephant knew. Perhaps I was laughing at myself.Wed, 07 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260104/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260104Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 29th, 2025 through January 4th, 2026.Sun, 04 Jan 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20251231/https://perceptindex.com/art/20251231Unpacking the toroidal structure(s) is worth exploring as it is both setting and focus of the illustration. Hermetically it is a self-sustaining energy loop, the mentalism principle; Platonically it is a form generating material expression of Christ consciousness, the “Kingdom within” as geometric reality; Practically it is my actual energy experience during meditation.Wed, 31 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251231/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251231Self-portraits are a specific kind of category of creative work that I simultaneously absolutely enjoy viewing and dread doing it myself. Percept Index presents a unique opportunity for me as my long-term project: a way, a reason, a need to produce at the very least a single self-portrait and at semi-regular intervals, such as once a year. So, in the most 'I'm an artist, witness me!' way possible here is my self-centered and completely ego-driven contribution to the year of 2025.Wed, 31 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251228/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251228Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 22nd through December 28th, 2025.Sun, 28 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251221/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251221Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 15th through December 21st, 2025.Sun, 21 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20251212/https://perceptindex.com/art/20251212The “transformer” was made of geometric shapes, not in 3D but flat and constantly moving. Its overall form was of some sort of grayscale Transformer, you know, “robots in disguise.” It reminded me of a being made of Rubik’s Cubes. I couldn’t tell you if it was one of the Decepticons or Autobots, but for the sake of my own morality I’ll go with Autobots.Fri, 19 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251212/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251212The beginning of my journey with deep meditation and altered states exploration was primarily focused on shadow work, and rightfully so. Eventually once you make some headway and see not just beginner progress but real and impactful changes, there's a natural tendency to coast, or sometimes completely forget how you got there to begin with. Fear not, this is a self-correcting problem. When it's been a while since you've done "housekeeping" or what I like to call "psychological hygiene", you'll know because you will let yourself know.Wed, 17 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251214/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251214Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 8th through December 14th, 2025.Sun, 14 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20251206/https://perceptindex.com/art/20251206Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251206/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251206Field Notes entries focus on brevity and getting to the point of the particular session or experience that was had. They also include other events that happen which seem to be out of the norm, they're worth recording in case we can spot a connection or simply to document. What I seldom ever do is discuss my own base process and how I go about getting my meditations started. In today's longform journal entry, I will be outlining what I do as my meditation starts and the phenomena that I've been tracking for the last 6 months, which I'm finally deciding to write about.Wed, 10 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251207/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251207Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 1st through December 7th, 2025.Sun, 07 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20251130/https://perceptindex.com/art/20251130Almost immediately received a basic visual of a lava lamp snow globe. The overall scene was warm and pastel-like colors. The globe was of course a sphere. I call it a “snow globe” because I did see particles falling in it. I also remember seeing the basic landscape inside of it, made of geometric shapes, move and flow like you would see in a lava lamp.Fri, 05 Dec 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251130/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251130Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for November 24th through November 30th, 2025.Sun, 30 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251128/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251128With Focus 21, "the bridge to other energy systems" (or "when you go hella deep yo") opening up more for me recently my own focus has been on getting more comfortable with it. The first sense that is always "on" for me when I approach new focus states is feeling and emotion. Then, slowly, over time and with patience the other senses open up as well. Another skill or function has been developing alongside all of this, in fact it has been evolving from the very beginning, my awareness.Fri, 28 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251123/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20251123Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These “field notes” record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for November 10th through November 16th, 2025.Sun, 23 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/art/20251122/https://perceptindex.com/art/20251122Their presence felt intelligent and also fairly young. They were not threatening but they were completely in control. They could not hide that they knew they were in control. My presumption is that I perceived this because of their age.Sat, 22 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovArthttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251114/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251114At the time I didn't realize that on this day, November 14th, I would be having a "Part II" of my "Clearing House" session (modified release-recharge) from a couple days back on November 11th. Here is Part I if you are interested or would like to refresh where I left off. The following are accounts and analysis of a meditation session and a projection which followed soon after.Fri, 21 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20251111/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20251111It's 4 AM, I feel alert and awake, it is my usual weekday time to rise and shine after all. Because it's my rest and recovery week from physical activity, my usually aggressive and fast-paced bursts of energy have now been replaced with calm and peaceful morning meditations. This morning I had a wonderful chakra balancing session which left me feeling light and energized. In the afternoon I settled down and got started on a session that has been long in the making. It's not the last time that I will be engaged in this type of session, since the first pass through made it clear that this was an instant staple.Wed, 19 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssays