New writing, art, photography, and essays from Percept Indexhttps://perceptindex.com/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260911/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260911It's been about two or three weeks of not feeling like the walking dead. What that means for me is physical training swung back into full force, running strong, lifting at usual consistency, immersive altered states have returned, and more energy to spread across all activities from family to creative work.Fri, 11 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260909/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260909Technically it started at the end of 2019. I was fat, tired, drunk, full of fear, deeply unhealthy, and one evening after dinner I was simply done with it all. I wasn't inspired, I was done. There is a difference, and anyone who has quit something for real knows which one ushers in a change. I finally woke up to myself standing at the edge of a threshold I knew I would never be able to cross back over. For the first time in ages I welcomed the uncertainty.Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260907/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260907The third spread is done. Three entries this week, each one a horizontal panel... a stone head, an open mouth, a road into the mountain. All three turned out to be about the same thing... format. What the deep material travels in, and what falls off it in transit.Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260906/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260906One of the biggest blocks in my practice was wrapping my head around the fact that imagination is commonly used to bootstrap altered states. Growing up, I noticed how imagination, the word, was used by adults, and it left me puzzled as the things they said seemed to contradict one another.Sun, 06 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260904/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260904A particular kind of vision began appearing during my meditations sometime last year, and it continues to resurface to this day. It's not a repeated image, it's not even any particular setting, it's primarily a specific *category* of activity. No, not the sexy kind, unless you're into eating or being fed, then I guess so. I'm not.Fri, 04 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260902/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260902Let me open this cycle with an admission. I have very little interest in past lives, mine or anyone else's. This tends to surprise people. In the circles where my work travels, past lives are a standing fascination. Regressions, akashic records — I get asked about that one constantly. "Have you gone? You should go!" Like it's a day trip to a library. Every time the subject comes up, I run into the same thing, a block. It's not negative, there's no fear or avoidance, more like something quietly whispering, "none of it is important."Wed, 02 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260830/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260830The second spread is done. Three entries this week, each one a panel -- a stasis tank, a landing, a path. That's the whole visible plot so far, and it turns out to be enough.Sun, 30 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260829/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260829One of the hardest lessons I've learned, and arguably still learning, is releasing my grip on the intent. Early on we're taught that if you want something badly enough, you'll achieve it. Technically this is true, but at least in my life I was never given the other side of the lesson; letting go of what you desire brings it closer to you.Sat, 29 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260828/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260828This cycle kicked off on Wednesday inside of a stasis tank. A calm and quiet state before the instrument, the physical body, embarks on a journey. Today we find our hero standing on a landing outside of the tower into which his consciousness transferred and emerged piloting a human form.Fri, 28 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260826/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260826Rahgah is a fourth density world. I decided that before the first panel saw the light of day, and this week I spent some time making sure I could say what I mean by it, because the term gets thrown around a lot and most of the people chucking it tend to be vague at best and confused at worst.Wed, 26 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260823/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260823The first page is here. Three panels, a soft launch, and a week of practice that picked exactly this moment to wake back up. The panels carry the story now; this section stays what it has always been, commentary on my practice and process. And this first one is pulling double duty; the usual look at the whole week, plus a first-week report on what the new format takes to produce.Sun, 23 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260822/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260822Descent and arrival is always so unnecessarily dramatic. This afternoon I laid down for an hour long sessions to Tom Campbell's binaural beats, 64-64 carrier. The session itself was quiet and restoring, the same kind of lazy focus state floating and declaration to openness as the meditation from yesterday. No displays of phenomenon or message with this one but what followed after hasn't happened in about a month.Sat, 22 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260821/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260821A quiet contemplation before a lifelong slumber. This one is much like the others; in so many ways they are all the same, and yet the perceived gain is immeasurable. No longer having to prepare for amnesia is a hard-fought upgrade, a relief that arrived many lifetimes ago. The transfer process used to be a bit awkward and jarring, but now it's essentially routine. Alright, that's enough. Let's get on with the action. Lights out.Fri, 21 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260819/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260819Today starts something new -- Field Notes of Rahgah, a wordless to near-wordless serial told one panel at a time. The panels carry the story. This section stays what it has always been, commentary on my practice and process.Wed, 19 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260816/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260816The lamp is still dim. Three weeks of degraded or absent immersive states, a body still climbing out of a nasty virus, physical training reduced to one good morning followed by a string of not-todays. By every measure this was another fallow week, and yet it produced more recognition than some of the brightest ones have.Sun, 16 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260815/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260815As recovery marches on, slowly, methodically, a little more energy day by day, I've found it difficult to focus on anything other than the metamorphosis of Field Notes (what you're reading right now). The lamp that normally burns brightly, fueling meditation, trance, and immersive altered states, is still dim, but it won't be like this for long. In the meantime something that I've wanted to engage with for a long time has come back to the surface, and this time I've recognized that it's been coming up and here already for quite some time.Sat, 15 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260814/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260814In the last three weeks the quality of meditations and immersive altered states has degraded substantially or completely dropped off. I'm no stranger to these situations as I've written about them at length as they come. Initially I spent a lot of time and energy investigating just why this happens. I refused to accept that the same mechanism that expanded my experience of this reality would vanish, seemingly on its own, without any explanation.Fri, 14 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260812/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260812Just as I was finishing up a sketch on a Saturday evening, the tail end of the last cycle, a track called "Divine Path" by V-Society & Rave Nine came through the earbuds. A spoken sample from the mix innocently caught my attention. Its first half names the fifth dimension as a state of consciousness already within you, waiting to be awakened — no far-off destination, no distant dream. Its second half tells you to "start riding your consciousness to it."Wed, 12 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260809/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260809The week had exactly one moving part. A nasty virus set the terms -- survival mode, sessions shortened or surrendered to sleep, physical training cast aside for another week. Through all of it, the magician's table stayed fully stocked, wand, cup, sword, and pentacle each in place, and the one item missing was the very key to it all, my awareness. In its place, a box of tissues.Sun, 09 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260808/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260808My task this afternoon was to channel Kenny Rogers as I *Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)*. Thus I concluded a second successful day of a solid 45 minute meditative trance session, the basic things that I wasn't able to engage with all week long are finally coming back online. Yet, there's still something missing from my metaphorical magician's table.Sat, 08 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260807/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260807This week's "return to form," after last week's adventure time, was foiled by a nasty virus that I am certain Kim and I caught during our attendance at the aquarium. Most of the week I spent in survival mode, casting aside physical training for another week. As I'm climbing out of the foggy delirium of sickness, I'm feeling the "softness" of not going on a run or lifting heavy things settle in, and the leg cramps from inactivity feel like a quiet protest from the body itself.Fri, 07 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260805/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260805Every step forward in the exploration of consciousness uncovers more questions, as if the process were a recursive function keeping us forever unfinished. How could it be otherwise -- the thing under study is it itself, studying itself. The question I'm after here queries reality: is this waking life, is it dreaming, is it what happens after death, is death even a good name for what's going on.Wed, 05 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260802/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260802The week ran on deliveries I didn't order. A yellow stencil in the wrong parking garage, the last spot in the building. A fish rising out of a cup. An Iced Earth song I haven't heard in a couple decades, sung soapy-handed in a dream bathroom. Vibrations ringing me like a bell from head to toe about a minute after I'd given up and rolled over to sleep. None of it summoned; all of it received.Sun, 02 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260801/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260801As this weekly cycle approaches to a close I find myself drawn back to the beginning, Monday, when **333** made a striking appearance after a substantial hiatus. Come to think of it, it's always been somewhat part of my culture in one way or another. Let me be clear that I am not wholly claiming the sacred number 3 as my own, I never have.Sat, 01 Aug 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260731/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260731All week my meditations have been on the quiet side. After writing that sentence out, I realize how ridiculous it sounds. It's meditation, not frantic multitasking. Nonetheless, the reason I have this *feeling* behind this week has a lot to do with my ability to drop out completely after sessions and into more immersive altered states, something I fell into the habit of doing over the last few years.Fri, 31 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260729/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260729We took the trailer to the coast for three days. The trip charged full price: a blowout on the pass, hours on the shoulder, short sleep, small injuries. None of it moved my mood significantly. The boys were making memories in bulk, and that was the trade.Wed, 29 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260726/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260726One essay, one Field Notes entry, and a week that kept saying the same thing in rooms that don't talk to each other. The essay speaks on the shift not being a trip, nothing moves, no craft arrives, no one ascends, the world remains and you change. Then a projection put me in a room with no body and no way to travel in it, a guided session dropped me into F10 in under three minutes because I had nothing to grab on to, and a card that went quiet eight weeks ago turned out to have been answered by my very own calendar. Nothing on that list traveled anywhere. All of it arrived in place.Sun, 26 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260724/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260724Today my mind has been preoccupied with completing the last of the pre-trip maintenance on our travel trailer. I'm taking our family to the Central Coast this Sunday to spend some needed time away from the Central Valley heat, even if for a couple nights.Fri, 24 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260722/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260722I stumbled on a post from a subreddit I don't follow. An unnamed source channeling an immortal yogi, laying out the seven signs that you've already left 3D and are entering 5D without knowing it. I read it and, yeah, all of that, literally all of that. I even chuckled at the identity sign; I'd just finished writing the Percept Index mission to include "who I am becoming."Wed, 22 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260719/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260719The week ran in reverse -- a mission proclaimed before the question that went looking for it, a query that carried its answer before it was cast, and a weekend threshold that returned absolutely nothing because there was nothing left to deliver.Sun, 19 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260718/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260718“Show me where the becoming-work is asking to go next” was today's cast during my usual long-er weekend meditation session. The typical process over the last few months has been identifying the general theme of the week and then letting these sessions cast more light on the subject. In some cases that looks like an in-trance vision, contact, post session immersive altered states such as projection, lucid dreaming, bilocation, Liminal encounter at the thresholds, or synchronicity and intuition delivery hours or days after. Heck, even dreams are a big part of it, and rightfully so.Sat, 18 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260717/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260717I set out this afternoon to cast a question which already had an answer. Sometimes this happens, sometimes it happens frequently. Retrocausality is a mind-bending and often times headache-inducing subject but there is a way to approach it without hurting yourself (maybe, I'm not promising anything).Fri, 17 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260715/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260715Something's been bothering me. Not enough to cause a serious deep dive but always there, like an ever-present hum somewhere in the background that I haven't resolved yet. It originates from within, and yet it's like a nebulous cloud that I know is right behind me -- when I turn, it turns with me, obscuring my sight of it.Wed, 15 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260712/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260712The week kept issuing the same instruction in different dialects. A boundary that does not shout back. A light that was never contained. A drive carried instead of spent. A field observed instead of contested. Four entries, one lesson -- force held is not force wasted.Sun, 12 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260711/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260711Yesterday's setup, today's question. The cleanest waking-to-projection traversal I've logged in a while; no dreamy qualia, no gap, just a hard stop and then the garage. And an orange glow that shouldn't have been there.Sat, 11 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260710/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260710One of the best outcomes is when the week picks a theme and carries itself forward with it, or perhaps I'm no longer standing in the way of these things. This is something I'm finding to be happening with an increased reliability over the last couple months. And again I'm reminded that this is yet another lesson in letting go and flowing with the Pleroma, the eternal now, the river of time.Fri, 10 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260709/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260709Working weekdays are pretty quiet on the meditation subject. The primary goal with these days is to focus on metaphysical hygiene, energy work, or brief manifestation runs. There's a fourth category that I like to do when my days are full of work-related context, and that's a simple 30-minute meditation focused on presence, stillness, oneness.Thu, 09 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260708/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260708I've never been a fan of building castles in your own countryside. The act of either erecting on the spot or moving into a new territory and putting up walls always felt subversive to your own community or an inherited one. I was naive, I didn't understand why people or groups of people engage in this act. "I'm an open book," is what I'd proclaim while looking off into the distance as if recognizing some idealist paradise of genuine, naked, and open communication just over the horizon.Wed, 08 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260705/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260705Three entries this week, and every one of them turned out to be an examination I didn't schedule. The drawing hand was tested against fifteen years away from traditional illustration. The project was tested against the ego's ledger of attention and engagement. The fear response was tested by a mantis growing in my palm and a masked man parked at my front door. No one graded these. I'm starting to think the response was the result.Sun, 05 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260703/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260703I woke at 4:20 and made the mistake of not getting out of bed immediately. Woke again at 4:55, too late for the morning run, so I went back to sleep. Long story short, if I sleep for eight hours or more I feel like absolute shit. Hungover without the drinking, headache and groggy. My max has always been six hours; four to six has been the working duration since high school, for a little over twenty years now. When this body gets more sleep than it requires, this is the bill. No self-flagellation over the missed run, it clearly wasn't in the cards.Fri, 03 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260702/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260702The pull to go inward and sit with nagging, unresolved, forgotten, or ignored issues, aspects, and situations is strong in recent days. I know this, I speak of it, yet my ego has been doing a good job of living in denial, "but that's not me!" So, taking my own advice, today's meditation was all about a particular line of thinking that has been slowly, but surely, coming up to the surface more and more.Thu, 02 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260701/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260701When I started Percept Index I focused strictly on documentation, writing, and analysis of consciousness exploration. After a few months of purely written work I felt the pull to return to illustration, something I spent a lot of time sharpening during my time at CSU Fresno.Wed, 01 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260628/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260628This past week's retrospective will be a little different. Any time I have an experience with an altered state such as lucid dream, projection, deep trance, Liminal encounter, etc. I will always defer to that over waxing poetic on what the week has taught me. Don't get me wrong, all of it is important but for me experience documentation overrides philosophical summation.Sun, 28 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260627/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260627A ho-hum meditation, a couple mild lucid dreams, and an encounter with a skeleton-looking Liminal. A typical Saturday afternoon.Sat, 27 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260626/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260626Opened Friday with a solid early morning 8 mile run. I hit a couple hills maintaining my pace, legs felt powerful and I didn't want to die. This could have easily been a 10+ mile run but I'm holding the horses back and slowly increasing the total weekly mileage, I know what happens when you don't because I've done that too.Fri, 26 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260625/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260625Returning to some of the older tapes that I used to do has been low-key revelatory on what I've been missing the during all those sessions in the past. One major point of tension I've realized and catch myself in realtime desire to *do something*, attempting to *do something*, pushing and applying mental force to *do something*. It's a natural reflex that oddly enough isn't as pervasive once I'm already projecting. And it isn't necessarily an issue with simply accessing those more immersive altered states, the reflex *to act* stops every single form of metaphysical work.Thu, 25 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260624/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260624Kicking off the new week physically intact and under normal operational conditions. That's somewhat rare as of late, and I have a feeling it will be a normal situation for a while until my oldest boy returns to school within a couple months.Wed, 24 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260621/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260621The forward motion this week was all subtraction. I kept expecting to reach for something new (a sharper state, a missing tool, a version of me upgraded enough to unlock the next thing) and every session handed back the same answer. There was nothing to acquire. The instrument never moved, the tools were already in my hands, and the only real work was taking off a belief I'd worn long enough to mistake for the landscape.Sun, 21 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260620/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260620Kim and I are celebrating our 12-year anniversary tomorrow, and what better way to commemorate the occasion than going to see a film about aliens and Disclosure. Our actual anniversary is tomorrow but we also have a couple young kids and, as anyone can imagine, planning things in this stage of life is a bit of a juggle and often can get chaotic (finding a babysitter, disrupted routines, etc.).Sat, 20 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260619/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260619Focus-state access, manifestation, and non-verbal communication run on one set of tools, used all day, whether you mean to or not.Fri, 19 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260618/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260618After a deep moment of quiet contemplation from the previous evening, I woke up early this morning with several loose threads having resolved and woven into my reality as integrated and whole. As good of a feeling as this is, immediately after is the default next step, I settled 4 questions, now I have 8 new questions. And the best part? That's what we crave, forward motion and a whole lot more to discover and understand.Thu, 18 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260617/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260617Recently, especially in the last few days, I have been dealing with a mild bout of doubt and internal friction regarding my work. Honestly, I have been expecting this and have been keeping *that* aspect in mind as passing internal weather.Wed, 17 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260614/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260614The de-load ended and I came back wanting to floor it. The week had other plans, and every one of them said the same thing. Open the hand. The body set the terms, the practice echoed them, and the lesson I keep circling came back around, this time from nearly every direction at once.Sun, 14 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260613/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260613Today's mission was simple, access the ideal state and then let go and coast. Over the last few years, every step of practice held this principle at the core, and with every step forward I understood a different aspect of what it means to be present. Yet, time and time again, that is the overarching message, theme, advice, lesson that I continue to receive. Over time, I began to doubt myself, why is it so hard to achieve such an easy concept?Sat, 13 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260612/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260612A low-key theme has been running this week, and today was no exception. Instead of going on my longest run of the week, I got up at the same time as usual and spent three hours trimming trees and hauling debris. It needed to be done, and before the temperatures started to climb into the 90s and beyond. The lemon tree was my biggest foe this morning and I'm fairly beat up from that "exercise".Fri, 12 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260611/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260611Today is quiet. Most of the time has been spent on tying up loose ends, context switching, and lining things up for future events that will require more doing and context switching. Basically, a lot to do and not much to write about.Thu, 11 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260610/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260610Coming back to a full physical week from a deload week is always an interesting balancing act. On one hand, I want to open full throttle and run 100 mph; on the other hand, I know that's probably a bad idea, as I need to recondition. Well, I got new "tires" (shoes) and took them out for a morning run this Monday, they are rocketships, and I tore up that 10k. One small problem... the new tires are too aggressive, and my right ankle was shouting at me.Wed, 10 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260607/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260607This week's Retrospective is a little different than the usual, and a little longer as well. At the end of last week (20260525-20260531), I made the decision that my physical body was essentially forcing on me. To avoid a total breakdown and an injury, I took this week (20260601-20260607) completely off from my usual early morning physical activity and replaced it with early morning meditation sessions.Sun, 07 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260606/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260606Following yesterday's experience with Focus 21 (Bridge), after a few months of pausing sessions accessing that focus state, I decided to pick this quest back up with renewed interest and curiosity. There's something about how this focus state responds to my access that has left me *understanding* that I don't have the full picture and yet still know that I'm *getting there* anyways.Sat, 06 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260605/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260605Back to my ol' pal "Intro to Focus 21". I won't lie, this has been one of those focus states that I'm not quite sure I've got a handle on. In fact, if I'm being cautious about it to begin with, then I'm definitely not where I think I should be with F21, unlike F10, F12, F15, and F18. At first I was comparing my own experiences with others, big mistake. After a bit of that and recognizing the error of my ways, I began to rely on my own subjective experience a lot more.Fri, 05 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260604/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260604This morning was a little interesting, mainly for my own observation (like most of this is anyway). These tapes switch to Robert Monroe's daughter, Laurie Monroe, for the intuition, Focus 15, and Focus 21 sets. I think she's fantastic and I've become accustomed to her voice and instructions, but there's just one thing... It doesn't matter how deep or light of a trance I'm in after the prep/first part of each track, when her voice comes in, I snap right out of mind awake/body asleep.Thu, 04 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260603/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260603I had a thought the other night. Not a download, just a thought. The slow machinery of UAP disclosure keeps grinding, and everyone who's been watching for years has spotted the same snag, every road into the subject dead-ends at consciousness. There's something here the people steering this don't want widely known. I don't think it's the craft. I think it's us.Wed, 03 Jun 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260531/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260531The week opened with the fastest 10k I've ever run and closed with the decision to stop running entirely. That isn't the contradiction it looks like. The body took the wheel, and the smartest thing I did was let it.Sun, 31 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260530/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260530Monday morning is the start of "De-Load & Re-Load" week. I hesitated a bit yesterday declaring it and making the decision to proceed, but after today's session I'm over it. It's happening. The primary focus of these morning meditation and trance sessions will be on The Gateway Program staple tracks. I need to, at the base level, refresh my own register of each focus state and then get "persistently persistent".Sat, 30 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260529/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260529All week I've been thinking about this morning's nice and long 12-mile run, maybe 13 or 14 miles. The goal was to get up *slightly* earlier than I have been and hit the road before 5 AM. Instead, I woke up right after 5 AM, overslept and missed my starting window. Upon seeing the time, my body and psyche collapsed back down on the bed, and I slept for another hour.Fri, 29 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260528/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260528When talking about meditation, the subject of stillness quickly becomes the center of it all, and why shouldn't it? Meditation is ***the*** natural gateway to experience *stillness* and realize what it truly means to be present, to be "in the now." If you don't know where to even begin with this process, I can attest that "The Gateway Program" is an excellent place to start.Thu, 28 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260527/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260527Over the weekend I was struck with a sudden inspiration for my morning routine, specifically Mondays. I don't know if it was really all that dramatic — the "plan" has been resurfacing from the deep bowels of the subconscious recursive loop engine for a few months now. I've been meaning to integrate meditation into mornings in a meaningful way. Last time I approached this it was too frequent and way too little time. This turn I picked a function that something like this would serve and refined the idea until it made sense.Wed, 27 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260524/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260524This week the names caught up to the work. Nothing new got built. Two things that have been flowing for years finally got their handle, and that turned out to be the most of the story.Sun, 24 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260523/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260523Last year the longest stretch of immersive altered state experiences coincided with a lot of guided astral projection sessions. At the time I believed that it was the sheer saturation of this content from meditations to books that propped up and spurred on the extra activity. I now think it's more nuanced than that.Sat, 23 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260522/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260522Last year the longest stretch of immersive altered state experiences coincided with a lot of guided astral projection sessions. At the time I believed that it was the sheer saturation of this content from meditations to books that propped up and spurred on the extra activity. I now think it's more nuanced than that.Fri, 22 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260521/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260521There's a feeling of change and adjustments on the horizon. Quite honestly I've already been in this mode for a couple weeks, perhaps it's building toward something or I'm simply methodically integrating it all. Either way, the direction of movement and changing winds is a good sign, stagnation is at bay.Thu, 21 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260520/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260520During my 9-mile run early this morning a concept clicked into place, suspiciously close in shape to what has already been operating for years. It began as a natural, reflexive move to strengthen my will and resolve in order to finish hard, physical tasks. The more I did this — the visualizing, the intuitive perception — the more I saw changes in my metaphysical practice, for the better.Wed, 20 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260517/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260517This week was a lesson in what shows up when I stop reaching for it. Not a new realization, but one of those that keeps re-arriving at a different resolution every time I believe I've got it. The ol' recursive loop.Sun, 17 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260516/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260516I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts, tired, and wondering what the next leg of inquiry will be for my longer weekend meditative trance sessions. In physical terms I know exactly why I'm tired today, I'm still figuring out my evening cadence, which sometimes works as intended and other times, like last night, I end up going to bed way too late.Sat, 16 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260515/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260515Finished up my weekly morning physical training with a 12 mile run early this morning. Fridays are for long and easy runs, today's pace surprised me as it's more or less maintaining closer to my faster and shorter runs of the week. This only means one thing, I'm not running hard enough, time to open it up more and keep pushing my efficiency.Fri, 15 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260513/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260513Early this morning I set off on a very lively and powerful 8 mile run with an emotional twist. At around the first mile I felt a wave of intense emotion, the kind that causes the throat to squeeze and eyes to feel wet, cry even. It wasn't allergies and it happened a couple more times throughout the totality of the run. I'm not a stranger to these, I still don't really know why they happen other than that time my youngest boy was in NICU for about a week after a very exciting birth.Wed, 13 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260512/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260512Today there was only time for a quick 20 minute reset. Typically I'll do F10 or F12 (if I need to problem-solve) but for whatever reason this afternoon I felt like F18 (heart energy) would hit the spot. It did.Tue, 12 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260510/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260510Another week of adjustments and most importantly a lesson in letting things go so they have a chance to resurface on their own terms. It's not a new idea or a concept for me, or anyone really, it is one that is hard to fully accept and realize. With an adjustment to my physical training that follows seasonal changes I let that process also guide me in releasing my grip on my metaphysical practice.Sun, 10 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260509/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260509It's a new week and a good time to start a new thread of inquiry. Over the past three months I've been tracking the duration from query to resolution, which also includes integration. The fastest ones take a few days, as they resolve within the same week that the query is cast. On average, the total time from question to integration is around two weeks to a month. The month-long progressions tend to be much more serious and take more effort to fully clear up, which also usually includes some sort of shadow work alongside this process.Sat, 09 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260508/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260508This morning kicked off with an easy and enjoyable 10 and a half mile run. Judging by the average pace, I need to step it up on Monday's "fast 7" mile runs. I've raised the total weekly mileage from Winter's 22 mile average to now 26 mile average. 4 more miles in total and I will hit my rough target of 30 miles (on average) for Summer and early Fall weekly totals. All of this physical activity, including weight lifting on my off-running days, aids in every facet of my life.Fri, 08 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260507/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260507This morning was very difficult to get going. Out of habit I got up around 4:30 AM anyway and got ready to go into my garage gym. As I did my best to wake up while staring at my squat rack and all the heavy equipment I noticed that not only were my top eyelids closing but also the bottom ones didn't want to cooperate. I decided that the situation was perfect to acquire an injury or two, so without thinking much more about it I turned around and went back to bed.Thu, 07 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260506/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260506It's been a casual kind of start to the week regarding my practice. Well, regarding the meditation part of the practice it's been about the same level of dedication (daily); however, when it came to notes and tiny illustrations I decided to take a small break. My birthday was this Monday, **May The 4th Be With You!** So, I felt like just slowing down a bit and enjoying my evenings.Wed, 06 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260503/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260503The week's sessions were modest. Monday through Thursday I was on a working schedule, so the time available for any single session was a 30-minute working-day window. I did not have a notable immersive session this week, nor last week, nor the week before, nor the week before that... the drought has continued for the sixth week in a row.Sun, 03 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/essays/20260502/https://perceptindex.com/essays/20260502I've written near and around my personal practice, Agile Awareness, in my last two essays, scattered over various Field Notes, and bits and pieces in other scraps. I have yet to address it directly. After some serious thread pulling, I've realized that a string of recent meditation queries have woven those threads into a tapestry that not only describes my current physical existence but more importantly the practice that I've arrived at.Sat, 02 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovEssayshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260501/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260501We are in the process of transitioning into warmer weather and that means I'm in the process of transitioning to longer distances for my morning runs. I feel absolutely awesome regarding the change and at the same time absolutely tired this week. This morning I ran a nice and easy 10 mile route, totalling the week at 25 miles, which is a 4 mile increase from what I've been doing for the last 4 months. Within the next month or so I will continue to slowly increment my total weekly mileage to be somewhere near the 30 mile mark.Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260429/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260429For the first time this year I finished my morning run with sunshine in my eyes. The way I like to structure my routes is so that the last quarter of the run is always in the direction where I will face the rising sun. No matter how hard I'm working, no matter how exhausted I am from the mileage already behind me, no matter what's on my mind... the moment when the rising sun's rays hit my face and eyes is more invigorating than six cups of coffee. I can't recommend it enough.Wed, 29 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260428/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260428Half of last year I kept having lucid dreams I called staging. Every single one ended the same way — I'd sink, spiral, spin down into a void. I read them as endings. They weren't. They were the instruction, repeated over and over until I finally tested it this past weekend and went down instead of up during transitions.Tue, 28 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260427/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260427This past weekend my family and I were sitting down at our local In-N-Out as we usually do on Saturdays. It was very busy but we were lucky enough to grab a few seats at a bar section next to an older gentleman as we waited for our "to-go" order to be called. The older man moved one seat over to let me have a chance to sit down as well, I thanked him and we struck up a conversation as we all waited there.Mon, 27 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260426/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260426This has been an interesting week of same ol' struggles that I've been facing over the past few weeks and a couple of new discoveries that are shaking me out of the perceived rut. I feel like I'm methodically working my way back up out of a valley with the recent progress. I've also begun to change how I use some of my tools for consciousness exploration and I'm liking the results.Sun, 26 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260425/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260425A little over half a year ago I began to use session questions in my practice as a general guide for meditations. The idea came from solving a particular problem that would creep up now and again: lack of direction, desire to continue learning but without a guiding principle of where to even begin looking.Sat, 25 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260424/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260424It's a "working Friday," which means one less day this week of a longer and more substantial session that I typically like to run on my days off. Not a problem at all, the Field Notes during these weeks just tend to be on the thinner side when it comes to substance.Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260423/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260423Another restorative session. There was no particular goal with this one other than problem solving regarding a particular task that I am tackling at my agency.Thu, 23 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260422/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260422Had a minor break in my practice at the start of the week. Monday I had time for a short 15 minute meditation while at the office and the following day, yesterday, I had to skip it entirely due to an event at my agency. These things happen and I'm being more forgiving to myself about it as it's definitely one of those attributes about myself that can and will be polished.Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260419/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260419Sunday afternoon meditation and subsequent lack of immersive altered states was a perfect summation of this past week. I woke up this morning in an "off" mood, much like most of the week. The session in general was technically sound like it's been all week but lacked in substance, like it has all week.Sun, 19 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260418/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260418Yesterday's session yielded some interesting artifacts but remained mostly unclear on the overall purpose. The query, "Who is being called?" was cast in F15 (beyond time) and F18 (heart energy). Today the decision was to continue yesterday's inquiry in F21 (bridge to other realities).Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260417/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260417I had an open early morning today so I took it as an opportunity to check out a "new to me" track. I tend to go pretty open-ended when I try new stuff, maybe one basic goal but overall mostly to observe. So, that's what I did this morning.Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260416/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260416I didn't have a goal with this meditation other than to decompress really quickly and then get back to my tasks for the day. It's been a bit more hectic than usual lately, so I'm taking less time than usual during afternoon sessions.Thu, 16 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260415/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260415It's the middle of the week and time to recharge the ol' energy centers. Just as planned, I am doing all of this unguided now. I believe this is the second time that I've done this session sans Sutphen's tape, which I've used for over a year or longer.Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260414/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260414Happy little accidents keep happening. I will be experimenting with making a stamp for these frames. I think initially just the frame itself with the box for the date (yyyymmdd) and another box for the sigil. After some practice I'll be working the sigil into a new frame stamp.Tue, 14 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Noteshttps://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260413/https://perceptindex.com/field-notes/20260413Only had time for a quick "body nap." Sat in my truck and settled into F10 (mind awake, body asleep), and just observed thoughts for a bit.Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:00:00 GMTAnton SimanovField Notes