Show Me The Scales
Field Notes 20260501 - Friday
Afternoon
- Sun: Taurus 11°
- Moon: Scorpio 13° | Full Moon (Flower Moon)
Meditation
- 45 Minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, F18.
We are in the process of transitioning into warmer weather, and that means I’m in the process of transitioning to longer distances for my morning runs. I feel absolutely awesome regarding the change and at the same time absolutely tired this week. This morning I ran a nice and easy 10 mile route, totalling the week at 25 miles, which is a 4 mile increase from what I’ve been doing for the last 4 months. Within the next month or so I will continue to slowly increment my total weekly mileage to be somewhere near the 30 mile mark.
For today’s session target I arrived at focusing on the weak link in my practice of Agile Awareness. While I generally felt alert, I could also tell that my physical body was ready for a quick afternoon break. Needless to say, settling into F10 (mind awake, body asleep) was extremely easy. In fact, so easy it set off a cascade of persistent and difficult-to-correct episodes of spacing out and click-outs.
Every time I would pull myself out of the sweet temptations of sleep and regain awareness, I would work on achieving the next focus state and then once again begin to climb out of the slumberland hole.
I managed to reach F18 (heart energy), and quite honestly I didn’t think I’d make it. After a sizeable click-out I cast my request, “Show me the scales.” Just like the other day, as I cast this request I viewed a fuzzy, dim, and gold-colored teardrop shape move up and out of my field of view. Typically I associate this rough visual display with sending gratitude and “thanks” to my higher-self. The automatic association for me now reads that these inquiries are going directly up to that channel, which, quite honestly, is ideal.
I did my best to maintain a coherent state of focus for as long as I could, and right before my final episode of blanking out during trance I saw something that reminded me of a fulcrum, but it was in the rough shape of a traditional UFO as it moved quickly from the center of my field of view and out to the right.
I couldn’t maintain a stable state of awareness any longer, so I made my exit, removed my gear, and happily turned over for a nap. Now as I did this I reflexively made an intent for an altered state — hey, can’t hurt. I understood that threshold-hunting was going to be extra difficult this time, but overall I enjoyed the process of falling asleep today more than I have all week.
When I woke up I had a hard time remembering any dreams. The weird thing is that I kept attempting to, as if I knew something happened, but for the life of me I cannot retrieve it. Letting it go; if it’s important it’ll show up again, perhaps in a different delivery method altogether.
Excellent morning run, good session, needed that nap, yet I feel a lot more tired and drained than when I started the session. It’s going to take a couple weeks to adjust to this; it does every time.
