Show me the territory I’m already standing in.
Field Notes 20260516 - Saturday
I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts, tired, and wondering what the next leg of inquiry will be for my longer weekend meditative trance sessions. In physical terms I know exactly why I’m tired today: I’m still figuring out my evening cadence, which sometimes works as intended and other times, like last night, I end up going to bed way too late.
Nevertheless, I’m not regretting anything because last night’s tiny illustration was a small-big deal, as I finally arrived at a personal mark that I’ve been after for years. The mark is a sigil; it has a purpose and function outside of its main job as an identifier for “Anton was here.”
I’ll be refining this sigil/mark with each new illustration that I produce, but you can count on seeing it in the bottom-right corner or integrated somewhere within the composition. The basic structure of the mark: two trees with alternating branches side by side on a vertical axis, water symbol running through the horizontal axis.
As the sigil matures and gets solidified with routine use, I will produce a proper writeup for its meaning and origin. I have no reason to rush this. I’ve refrained from creating such a mark for nearly two decades, as nothing ever felt quite right until very recently.
Afternoon
- Sun: Taurus 25°
- Moon: Taurus 26° | New Moon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 256-128-64.
The purpose of this meditation session was to access a relatively deep trance state and cast the following query: “Show me the territory I’m already standing in.” In the recent weeks I’ve been moving back to Tom Campbell’s “256-128-64” track, as the carrier waves feel more comfortable than the lower options I was using in the last couple of months.
It seems like my preferences for carrier waves change depending on what’s going on. With deeper and more inner work I tend to gravitate to lower carrier frequencies, while when immersive altered states begin to open up I naturally switch to higher carrier frequencies. At the moment I’m in the process of shifting to the latter.
The meditation and accessing deep trance was fine, nothing exciting happened on the way other than I felt very efficient and fast at dropping to the desired altered state. After the meditation concluded I removed my gear and turned over for a quick continuation of the deep immersive altered state experience.
This is by far the most successful “threshold hunting” mini-session I’ve had in a couple of months. I came to the razor edge of losing consciousness and crossing over multiple times, each time stretching the brief moment into longer and longer windows. I caught a couple of Liminals on two different occasions through this process. Nothing super fancy, mostly geometric and light dancing figures in the usual spot of my field of view. The difference here is that I wasn’t transitioning to or out of anything; I was directly peering through that in-between states gap while continuously returning to the physical.
Before long I found myself inside of a “staging” lucid dream. It was quick, haphazard, and the moment I became lucid I was yanked out of it by dropping down through the floor. This is now a rather typical progression into projections from lucid dreams.
As I moved into the deep and black waters of the void I felt the initial drop come to a stop as I was suspended in place for a moment. Without thinking much I began to open my eyes, and a few brief glimpses of physical and etheric setting came streaming in at the same time. Bilocation.
In the etheric setting I was stuck to the physical body, left side again. I closed my eyes and decided to roll to my right, something I don’t do often, and so I rolled indeed. I felt myself break free, actually roll through, and pause facing up, or whatever direction, since it doesn’t really matter in this space.
With that I blurted out, “Take me to Egypt. I want to see the pyramids.” I honestly have no idea why I said that. Yes, I’m aware of the pyramids and pre-dynastic Egypt. It is of interest to me, but I’ve never had the desire to project there as I’ve been warned by written and in-person sources to generally stay away from that area. Knowing my character, that’s actually probably why it came out so quickly: tell me not to do something and I will do just that to have the experience of why I shouldn’t. Obviously I don’t apply this character principle to everything, such as various substances that I know are a bad idea to experience to begin with; often things can get bad enough that an in-person example or anecdotal evidence of such effects is good enough.
I can’t say that much more actually happened beyond this point. I began to travel, presumably to the destination that I wished to go to, but the experience was interrupted, and before I knew it I was gently “clicking” into place where my physical body was laying.
Good day overall. I’m still tired though.
