Rips in Perception
Field Notes 20260523 - Saturday
Last year the longest stretch of immersive altered state experiences coincided with a lot of guided astral projection sessions. At the time I believed that it was the sheer saturation of this content, from meditations to books, that propped up and spurred on the extra activity. I now think it’s more nuanced than that.
Thinking about, reading about, listening to, and practicing this stuff certainly will influence your subconscious and increase your chances. I think this is a very fair and common sense approach to just about anything you want to learn. There is another aspect to astral projection and lucid dreaming that bootstraps the experience, especially in the beginning.
Imagination, visualization, and intuition. All of the activities around the subject have you directly engage with these aspects of yourself. If you are a poor visualizer, you will get better. If you lack imagination, you will find it. If you seldom listen to your inner voice, you will begin to notice it more and more.
To engage with consciousness exploration is to engage with aspects of yourself that you probably have neglected or falsely believed that you are “bad at.” That last one, especially without a clinical diagnosis that would prevent you from experiencing imagination, visualization, or intuition, is called a “limiting belief.” Turning limiting beliefs into normally functioning faculties is very easy: literally just do it.
Afternoon
- Sun: Gemini 2°
- Moon: Virgo 7° | Waxing Gibbous
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- William Buhlman, Target Technique.
Last year I practiced this track at least once a week for several months. It’s about 45 minutes in total length, but I find that the first half is the most beneficial. During the first part of the session you are directed to visualize standing in front of your home, walking up to your front door, examining the entrance in the best detail that you can, and then you are directed to continue into your home, where you will make your way to three objects (targets that you should pick out prior to doing this session) and spend a lot of time engaging all of your senses with those objects one by one.
I like to pick out targets that all contrast one another. Something soft and fluffy, then a hard surface, glossy versus textured, etc. This seems simple, but if you think about it, you can spend a lot of time mentally observing a toothpick:
- Small and light colored.
- Very light, barely perceptible weight when held.
- Feels partly smooth but splintering on one side.
- The shape is cylindrical.
- The ends of the toothpick are tapered to fine points.
- If you bring the toothpick close to your eye you can see woody or pulp grain throughout.
- If it’s plastic you can determine how smooth or rough it is, the color, etc.
- Is the toothpick scented? What does it smell like?
- If you were to use the toothpick, what would it taste like?
- You’re clumsy and while handling it you accidentally drop it on the floor: did it fall on carpet, tile, wood floor, linoleum? What sound did it make when it fell?
- What would it feel like if you stepped on this toothpick with bare feet? With socks on? Shoes?
- Half of the toothpick is dry as a bone but another part feels soggy and wet. Great, someone just used this.
As you can see, the list for mentally observing a simple object such as a toothpick can get pretty extensive, provided that you focus on the task and commit to it. These sessions provide just the kind of space and environment where this is easier than it may seem initially.
Today I did the first half of this session with the usual success that I found last year. Prep was fine and settling into my ideal state was fast and easy. There’s something about the way Buhlman’s voice and cadence guides you; some of his phrasing reminds me of Dick Sutphen’s work. The track itself, the binaural beat, is also expertly engineered. Out of all the tracks I use, these are the most gentle and uniform, but they drop you where you need to be very effectively.
After the exercise moved into the second phase I began to end the session. I seldom, if ever, have strong effects from attempting to project within the session itself. I’ve learned that for me to have the most success here I need it to be completely unguided and nearly 2 hours long. These tracks are 45 minutes at most, which leaves little space for self-paced work at the end.
With that, I gave my gratitude, made my exit, put my gear away, and turned over for some much needed threshold hunting. While I did not enter any meaningful immersive altered states, I did have a couple of weak lucid dreams. My energy is still recovering, so this makes total sense.
On at least two occasions I was able to break into a liminal space between waking and dream, pulling out right before the dream would begin. During these moments the Liminal displays were more like rips in perception, showing a window or a portal to some otherworldly realm full of brightly colored and unfamiliar looking landscapes. When I say unfamiliar I mean not something I’ve experienced, nor would imagine experiencing, on Earth. The overall gestalt was definitely there, atmosphere and all.
Aside from this, not much else happened, and that’s okay. It was enough for today, and I’m thankful for the experience that was had.
