Release Into Stillness
Field Notes 20260625 - Thursday
Returning to some of the older tapes that I used to do has been low-key revelatory on what I’ve been missing during all those sessions in the past. One major point of tension I’ve realized and catch myself in realtime: desire to do something, attempting to do something, pushing and applying mental force to do something. It’s a natural reflex that oddly enough isn’t as pervasive once I’m already projecting. And it isn’t necessarily an issue with simply accessing those more immersive altered states; the reflex to act stops every single form of metaphysical work.
Today’s Field Notes illustration:
Akhet. The Egyptian hieroglyph for the horizon, akhet, the sun held in the notch between two peaks at the moment it crosses, the place of both sunrise and sunset; my rendition opens the carved glyph out into a landscape. A rayed sun stands in the gap between two hatched ridges, a thread of light running up from its crown and another down into the valley, where a river lies bright along the floor and the sky behind hangs pale green, the peaks dark on either side. The glyph marks the crossing itself, the band where one state gives over to the next, neither wholly day nor night, the gate the light passes through without ever halting in it. As a meditation focus, its lesson is about the manner of the crossing: the sun is not hauled over the ridge but carried, and the horizon is passed by no effort of the thing that passes it; the reflex to climb, to push, to do something at the threshold is the one move that stalls at the ridgeline. Stop holding the ridge and the crossing is already underway; the light never labored up the sky, it was always going over.
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 minutes.
- The Gateway Experience, Wave VI - Odyssey, 4 - Nonphysical friends.
I’ve been reading a lot of new people having questions about this specific tape lately, so I figured I’d return to it, something I’ve been doing with older material lately more frequently.
An aside: About “forgetting” things you’ve done and why I think it helps in the long run: there’s no better experience than the first one. The reason the first time is typically the most promising out of all attempts is the lack of expectation. I know, this sounds paradoxical to the belief principle, but keep in mind as to what the lack of expectation refers to. Much like the manifesting and patterning core function of focusing on the “what” rather than the “how”, the same mechanism applies here. You may expect the “what”, but you do not expect (because you don’t know) the “how”. That is the difference-maker for this work. The belief still remains as to what you might experience, because you want to experience something, but oftentimes focusing on the “how” you will attain this experience is what collapses everything into disappointment for both manifestation and general altered states experience.
For the most part, this was a pretty chill session. Prep was fast, and I spent a lot of time just waiting, enjoying myself in F10 (mind awake, body asleep). After expanding into F12 (expanded awareness), the instructions lead you to ask for help from “guides” (there’s that word again). The goal here is to get assistance lifting out and away from the physical body. I now have a bone to pick with the choice of words here as, once again, you are not “going” anywhere.
Don’t get me wrong, you may experience the sensation of lifting up and away, but at the core of the process, the movement part is an illusion. The way I would rephrase is to focus on surrender, no action, no grip, no movement of anything, just letting the “guides” demonstrate for you. Essentially, that’s what happens, and we perceive it as an action, but for minds like mine, perception of action is a strong signal that dissolves all of it.
I found this to be true with these kinds of exercises where letting go of your physical body and surrendering to the experience is crucial to starting it. Once detached and in active agency of your awareness, this no longer matters, as the transition from physical awareness to non-physical awareness is complete. Keep in mind, all of what I’m saying is an indictment of how I process information and not necessarily how you do, but I also know that I’m not the only one like this.
The messaging is often: let go, surrender, don’t grip, become the observer; but at the same time, it’s also lift out, move away, roll out, imagine climbing a rope, etc. Both sets contradict each other and, in my case, a freeze response sets in and solidifies because of it. I’ve begun to ignore these words as best as I can during guided sessions, and today I was handed a clear example as to why.
During my first pass of calling over “guides” and attempting to lift up and away, nothing happened, and a frustrating situation ensued where I was metaphorically hitting a wall. I caught it. I knew the issue, so during the second attempt, as soon as I felt that same loop was returning, I would release back into stillness. That’s when the experience of being lifted out and up became attainable.
As far as my favorite loaded term “guides” is concerned: in the moment of calling them over, 4 dark shadows appeared and moved to my sides. The shadows had agency; I wasn’t moving them around, and they didn’t float like a screensaver. They were there, present, and deliberately made moves and adjustments depending on the situation.
During this part, there were constant and distracting noises happening around me, as if someone was physically in the office (there was no one physically in the office). This isn’t a new occurrence to me, and I hold the belief that this is more or less a manufactured audible phenomenon that perhaps serves as a function of distracting and collapsing what you’re doing by introducing a startling effect and/or mild fear (oh no someone is here and I have to see who!).
Projection
After finishing this session, I decided to give my ol’ and reliable method a shot. For about 20 minutes or so, I began to go in and out of consciousness, practicing threshold hunting. I missed the exit/crack in awareness the first pass around, but I came right out of a mini snooze right away.
A small white liminal was dancing in the usual spot to the bottom right of my field of view. It was difficult to discern what exactly was happening (it was moving quickly), other than that it was bright white, in motion, and against a black void backdrop.
During my second pass of threshold hunting, I broke through and briefly projected in the setting of my office. I’m still randomly suffering from “astral blindness”, and it’s probably due to the proximity to the physical location. Either way, I mucked around moving by feel and thought motion, before exiting on my own as operationally I was basically a blind newborn puppy.
One note: during this projection, I experienced auditory phenomena, particularly kids playing nearby and other sounds of activity. None of this is weird or odd; it is very common.
Either way, I’m stretching my awareness muscle on different frequency bands, and it felt good to do so of my own free will once again.
