It noticed me noticing it.
Field Notes 20260626 - Friday
Opened Friday with a solid early morning 8 mile run. I hit a couple hills maintaining my pace, legs felt powerful and I didn’t want to die. This could have easily been a 10+ mile run but I’m holding the horses back and slowly increasing the total weekly mileage, I know what happens when you don’t because I’ve done that too.
My overall energy through the afternoon was excellent and I went into my first long session of the week feeling pretty confident about the rest of the day. After the long afternoon meditation and a brief nap however I’m left pretty drained, weak, and just generally tired. Weird (not really).
Today’s Field Notes illustration:
Cosmic Egg. The world egg, the void’s first vessel — Orphic, Vedic, and in the alchemists’ hands the philosophical egg sealed in its vas, the closed form that holds undifferentiated potential until it splits and lets the contents hatch; my rendition breaks the egg open and sets the Liminal in the breach. A pale shell stands against a near-black field, its surface mapped in a dense web of fracture lines, the seams prized apart along warm hatched bands that run off to the four corners like light forced into the cracks. Within the opening a slender figure stands faceless, a coil at its center and a single thread running its length, the thing that squeezed through the cleft and turned to look back. The egg marks the moment of crossing-over, the void giving up a form through the narrowest possible gap, neither still sealed nor fully born, caught at the instant the shell yields. As a meditation focus its lesson is in how the figure arrives: not hauled out by force but slipping through on its own, and it came not while the threshold was worked hard but after the energy was spent, in the gap where the grip let go. The shell does not crack because it is pushed; the watcher’s only office is to notice, and be noticed in return — it noticed me noticing it, and that reciprocal seeing was the whole of the event.
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 minutes.
- The Gateway Experience, Wave IV - Adventure, 2 - Five Messages.
Continuing the theme from this week of revisiting old tapes I used to do I had a feeling I needed to do this one again. Every once in a while I’ll run through this one that ends up giving me a basket of rabbit holes and threads to focus on, not always but it’s a good bet going in.
Nothing to prep and getting situated, went smooth as ever and with plenty of time to get settled before we got to the action. The gist of it is that you first enter F10 (mind awake, body asleep), then expand into F12 (expanded awareness), and then begin to methodically cast out 5 questions: “What is # important message for me?” You do this in descending order from 5 to 1. After each pass you patiently wait for the answer.
Just like any other query cast in trance, I wouldn’t focus on getting answers during the actual session. Most of the time, for me and many others, the answers arrive at another time through intuition, synchronicities, dreams, altered states, etc. Just be mindful of this, though I guarantee you even if you’re not you’ll still get those answers and it’ll be obvious.
I did have my 4th question answered during the process: “You are loved.”
The rest of the messages didn’t come through and I always end up second guessing it all because this particular track always delivers a ton of hypnagogic imagery and scenes. I do my best to pay attention to it all but there is also the inerrant danger in doing that as these images and scenes have a tendencies to pull you in and any minor interaction (it’s hard not to) results in “lights out, night night!”
After all of this I felt completely the opposite of when I started. I felt as if I could sleep for 6+ hours if given the chance, but I took the gamble anyway and did some “threshold hunting”.
Liminal
Overall the three or so passes at threshold hunting were OK but my energy was sufficiently sapped by this point so even if I was in a lucid dream I wasn’t stepping out of it. Having said that, after my second pass a wild Liminal appeared in that old and familiar spot, the bottom-right corner of my field of view.
The Liminal began as a sharp white dot, energetic and expanding. It then broke out into a slender figure. It seemed as if it squeezed through a crack and once it broke through briefly laid there stretching. Then, the slender, energetic, bright white figure “got up” and seemed to look around. It noticed me noticing it, waved (felt very friendly), and then shrunk back down to a dot and out of our shared existence just like it came in.
I couldn’t see it’s face, I could only see quickly shifting and moving features. I’ve seen this figure before, or at least I think I have, almost at the same or similar time last year. I could be just merging two experiences into one, it’s hard to distinguish differences between: bright white, energetic, in constant movement, shifting features, etc. So I’ll leave it at that.
Most importantly, whatever these Liminals are, they’re friendly and seem to love to joke around. My kind of entities.
