We Already Do This.
Field Notes of Nobody’s Ghost - 20261018-S9
If the wings already know the way, the only thing that can fold them is stopping to confirm that they are truly there. Keep flying toward the glass and let the destination explain itself on its own time.
Our ghost is headed to a new destination once again. I wonder, how will he get into where he’s going? What is that anyway? Will he be able to reach his next challenge without a distraction? Until we can get answers to these questions I’ve got some of my own adventures to report on.
I laid down to run the “Energy Food” track from Wave III of The Gateway Experience one last time. Four passes in, three of them ended by a cough at the same spot, I’d decided this was the final look. Instead, my awareness got bored at exactly the part that needed attention, and I finally understood why.
I already know this. The track teaches a way of gathering energy and pulling it into the body, and I’ve been doing that since before I had any idea what consciousness exploration was. As a kid I thought I was playing, because I was a kid and kids play. After 2019 I started catching myself at it: standing still for a couple of seconds, hands at my sides, a small gesture like drawing something in through the palms. Then I noticed that when I needed more on a run I’d picture the center of my body roiling red and orange and yellow, which I now know is Manipura, the solar plexus center.
None of it was imagination for its own sake, it all manipulated my physical state just enough to get whatever I needed done, done. I do things intuitively first and read about them later, and this one I’d been experimenting with for thirty years without reading about it once.
So the cough was never sabotage. For three years the instrument had been saying this is a waste of time, and it was right. The body does what it needs to do when awareness hasn’t caught up to it yet; that’s the partnership, and it was being helpful. I’ll never have to think about that track again.
Afterwards I turned over for the immersive block. Two passes. The first was a lucid dream, and it slipped out of memory between the daybed and the keyboard, which is the rule I wrote down two days ago proving itself: dreams go unless you catch them, projections stay.
The second was a projection into Locale 1, Monroe’s term for the physical world seen from outside the body. I was working from home. I kept hearing my youngest boy and my mother-in-law near the office, which happens but not for this long. When I reached a stopping point, I got up and opened the door. Everything was built 1:1 with the physical. The bedroom door was open, the room dim, the voices coming from that direction.
The odd and funny part: I crossed the threshold and got hit with the smell. My mother-in-law and youngest boy were using my bathroom, with a good sense of humor about it, though the main one is right there in the hall. I didn’t see them and decided not to think about that in the moment; the reflex I’ve been working on held.
Then the lump in the bed, on Kim’s side, pillows pulled off the top the way she does when she lies down for a bit. Kim was at work. That’s the whole reason my mother-in-law was in the house. The shape under the covers looked like her, the bit of dark hair looked like her, and I leaned over from my side and gave the shoulder a gentle shove to find out who it was.
I felt resistance, like someone was really there, and that was the end of it. The shove was a question. I asked it with my hand instead of my mouth, and the pull-back started at Anahata, the heart center, the way it always does, spreading evenly through the rest. What I should have done was walk around the bed and look, or leave the room.
The return went through the portal it always goes through, which I’ve stopped writing about, because it happens every time. Sometimes it’s a straight line, sometimes it winds like a river. This one wound, and it ran longer than I’m used to.
Then something new. I didn’t click into the body right away. I was hovering over it, activated, the low hum running, eyes still closed and waiting for the usual Liminal display, the images that show up on the way out of a state. Instead a large gold blob of phosphenes sat dead center of my field of view.
It started shifting, cycling through what I’d swear were the chakra colors, and it ended on indigo, bright and getting brighter the longer I looked. I’ve never seen that color in the phosphene field. Any blue I’ve seen there melts into the void behind it. This one was vivid and alive.
I opened my eyes and for a moment had both views at once, the physical eyes and the other ones, which has happened a few times before. Then I dropped a little, clicked into place, and that was it. No change in awareness, no grogginess, just one continuous state with frequencies changing underneath it.
I’m not decoding the indigo just yet. What I’ll say is where it sat in the sequence: the brow’s color lit up bright, and the next thing was seeing from two places at once, bilocation.