Field Notes
11/30/2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for November 24th through November 30th, 2025.
November 26, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 30 minutes.
- Good ol’ Dick Sutphen perfectly 80s track to balance my chakras mid-week.
- Double white strobe action from behind the eyes returned this week. It never really goes away, but sometimes it can be a few days between getting them.
- This time I was a little spaced out about halfway into the session, and upon the suggestion “ask your guides for assistance with completing your mission,” I mentally said “guides, help me complete my mission” and instantly got the “double tap” strobe.
- I’m normally not this nonchalant about repeating things in guided meditations that I do often. I do pretty well with feeling and internalizing the intent of the message.
- The double strobe happened again before the end of the session, but that made a little more sense since I dropped down very deep by that time. Typically I associate this phenomenon with crossing the threshold into my “ideal state” for altered experiences such as astral projection. I’m not surprised. I’ve mentioned before that for whatever reason Sutphen’s hypnosis always tends to drag me down further into the deep than other guided sessions.
- Mental note: start to evaluate why Sutphen’s method works so well to send me into my ideal state every time, even if I’m not looking for it.
November 27, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 45 minutes.
- The Expand app, timer section, Focus 21.
- Took my time settling down.
- Prep went fine, stalled in a couple places, which indicated lower than normal energy.
- I was right: micro click-outs while moving from F12 up to F21.
- F21 wasn’t as open today, but I’m judging that based on my energy, or lack of it.
- Before laying down for the session I actually thought I had quite a bit in the battery. That’s how it goes sometimes.
- When I reached F21 I distinctly heard a question spoken to me from my back left. It was in Russian, “Что ты?” (“Chto ty?”) translated as “What are you?” It’s important to note the choice of words here, not “who” but “what”. I answered with “uhhh human, Человек.” “Chelovek” means person. Nothing more happened.
- After a decent click-out event while in F21 I decided I was done.
- On my way out I stopped at F15 and F12 to tend to my usual business there (manifestation and initiate contact).
- Stated my physical affirmations in F10 and made my exit.
Lucid Dream
- This was another quick one.
- I’m actually very surprised it “loaded” at all.
- I was low on energy. In that kind of condition I rarely if ever have altered state experiences.
- It was short and I had very poor control. To extend it further while I struggled in this one, I “let go” and proclaimed “I surrender.” That worked. Things calmed down and I almost entered a projection but sputtered out.
- After I woke up I went back for a basic nap, no intent setting for altered states. When I was falling asleep I felt strong rumbles on my neck. I knew nothing would happen, but it was neat to observe and “fall into them.” This actually helped to fall asleep for another 20 minutes.
November 28, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 45 minutes.
- Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 246-128-64.
- This morning at 5am I went on a 10k run with a good friend. Now, I love to run, long distance or a 10k. I like to do “full effort” for 10k runs to race against my average pace. My friend recently completed a marathon in just under 3 hours. Needless to say, this was a nice and relaxing run for him, and I struggled a bit as I normally do in colder weather. Regardless, because of this “buddy challenge” I shaved off 40 seconds from my previous average pace in fall/winter. It’s different running at this time as you’ll put on more to keep warm, then get hot halfway through the run, then cold again if it gets windy because you’re sweaty, etc. I much rather run in warmer weather where most of your skin is exposed and thus you’re able to maintain a much more efficient body temp regulation. Because of all of that, I was tired this afternoon.
- I was so tired I spaced out all over the meditation. My legs and arms were jerking all around (dehydration and fatigue), kept knocking myself out of focus states, clicked out all over the place like a champ.
- I knew it would go this way. I should have just rested and recovered.
- Still, this one comes with lessons: when you hear yourself say what you think you should do instead of what you planned on doing, pay attention, trust yourself.
November 29, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 35 minutes.
- The Expand app, timer section, Focus 21.
- More energy today but not an effortless session.
- Got through prep and then made my way up the focus levels until I reached Focus 21.
- When I entered F21 I swear I heard a gravelly voice say my name. Once again I responded immediately, but nothing more materialized from that.
- More movement in the immediate “space” before me today. Mostly shadows, or rather “more defined” shadows. Not all are dark in appearance. Some are lighter. Some pause and turn their attention at me, most continue on where they are going. This isn’t exactly a place to hang out and have an afternoon tea with strangers. It’s a lot more like a train station or an airport. Sometimes it’s busy while other times it seems like there’s a lot of waiting around. What remains the same is that no one is here for long. Even I don’t stay here much longer than maybe 10 minutes, like staging for another place “beyond” or simply drop in for a bit and out into the lower focus levels.
- While I was in F21 there were a couple scenes in which two strange-looking fellows who were taller than me, wearing what I’d call just normal clothes (t-shirt and jeans), talking at me or attempting to discern what I was. Another sequence involved a close-up of a gloved hand coiling a rope around another gloved hand, presumed they both belonged to the same individual.
- Nothing more outside of that to report really.
- Made my exit with giving gratitude and did the usual focus level business on my way out.
Lucid Dream
- Honestly again not much of a lucid dream aside from it happening.
- Could not make much more work in the dream other than levitate and fly, but once again I could not leave the immediate area that I was in.
- At the end of this brief altered state I just flew straight at a wall and figured it’ll either result in something or I’ll wake up.
- As I was going through the wall I realized that it was essentially a mile long, or I stopped moving, and then my vision filled with the same familiar warm light. The warm light covered my entire view field.
- As the warm light slowly dissolved I found myself expectantly staring at the bottom left portion of my view field.
- There it was, a liminal!
- Too bad this one was dim too, but it was unique. I got the impression that I wasn’t seeing all of it, or aspects of it were obscured to me.
- The liminal was mostly made of disjointed geometric shapes and planes. They rotated on an elliptical path with one edge closer to me while the other further in the distance (but also visible, hence the elliptical path).
- The colors were muted but also were glowing somehow. Not surprised since it is a liminal and it does weird stuff. I won’t even pretend to understand what a 3D shadow of a 4D or higher dimension object should look like, but again, these liminals feel like that to me.
- It spun like this with ever-changing geometric shapes, growing larger and smaller, turning and staying static, etc. and then gently dissolved into the normal dark backdrop that we typically see when our eyes are closed (with an eye mask still on).
November 30, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 35 minutes.
- Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 246-128-64.
- Had more energy today, felt good overall.
- Prep went good, moved through focus levels until I reached Focus 21.
- Same as usual. This time made my presence known as I entered and then sat back observing.
- Decided to attempt to communicate here as well as in Focus 12.
- Reached out and waited.
- A figure appeared in the darkness. It had large black eyes. The head shape was large while the body small, very much a stereotypical figure although as dark as a shadow. Could have been a grey or a mantid. It hung out near me a little while. When I would reach out to engage it would retreat further. Eventually it was gone.
- On my way out I did my usual business and stopped in Focus 12 to pitch a contact opportunity for anyone that would listen.
- I did my usual spiel and was pleasantly surprised.
- Almost immediately received a basic visual of a lava lamp snow globe. The overall scene was warm and pastel-like colors. The globe was of course a sphere. I call it a “snow globe” because I did see particles falling in it. I also remember seeing the basic landscape inside of it, made of geometric shapes, move and flow like you would see in a lava lamp. The lava lamp part stayed at the bottom, gently shifting and moving like it was alive. The globe itself had no discernible color. It was simply a clear crystal. The base of it is harder to recall but, once again, it was primarily of simple and geometric shape(s). My attention was supposed to be on the contents of the globe and clearly that worked. Whoever sent that, I wonder what the message is and I wonder how it relates to the current time in our physical world: Fall/Winter, December starting, Christmas, snow globe, etc.
- It was brief, but this kind of contact is usually like this. Brief non-verbal communication (NVC) right after initiating interaction, or asking for one. There’s hardly ever a follow-up, just a flash or a few second scene and then it’s over. It’s super harmless and safe for everyone.
- After that I did one last invitation for contact but changed it up a bit. I focused more on saying who I am, in this physical form and given name. I mentioned what I do, a “gonzo Endospiritual journalist.” I described what I do with this information: I write and illustrate. Lastly I left with, “If anyone is interested in communicating and sharing, I’m open at any time and in any way.”
- Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch: I did not initiate/ask for contact for a long time. It was very obvious from the start that I needed to focus on myself and learn how to do all of this safely. So I did that for two years. On “working on myself,” this part never ends nor do I wish it to. There’s simply too much to learn and too many things to improve, and I love that.
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