Field Notes
12/07/2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 1st through December 7th, 2025.
December 3, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 30 minutes.
- Mid-week chakra balancing.
- Dick Sutphen’s “Astral Projection” has a strong chakra balancing component.
- Overall felt very awake and alert.
- Start of meditation was very strong, calm, and just all-around what I’d expect.
- Somewhere during the countdown to go even deeper, I began to space out. I realized what was going on after the fact: I was letting myself entertain various thoughts and scenes that would pop up through this process and thus got sucked into one or two of them. The basic thing to keep in mind when doing any of this work is to not engage with passing thoughts, that’s a quick detour to click-out land. Thoughts will come up, they always do. Most days my mind is relatively quiet when I begin and the task is simple, some other days the thoughts crash in like a tsunami right when I need to remain passive. In Gateway Program you’re taught to use the “energy conversion box” where you put all the stuff that can distract you, lock it away, and no longer worry about it throughout the session. I always do this, and during weeks where I have major stressors or just a lot of “normal” stressors, I think what happens is that I just can’t account for everything. It’s as if those thoughts decide to hide right when I’m looking to lock them away. Today was one of those days.
- I’m thinking of repeating this one, perhaps this evening. Going unguided and driving the process will help with my situation today.
Bedtime
- 10 PM, normal bedtime, nothing important about it.
- Since the early evening I’ve been feeling tired and drained.
- As I laid down and got situated to go to sleep, the entire day’s exhaustion melted away.
- Right from the moment that I hit the pillow, I felt low and rumbling vibrations pulse from the lower spine to upper spine and into the neck. The neck part isn’t new, neither is the spine really, but the fact that this all came on immediately and without any intention nor a passing thought about projecting. Now, I know, I get it, these things don’t need to happen just because you are attempting to project. Lately I’ve been feeling them rumble up and down my spine quite often when taking a nap or going to bed, it just takes a little longer than a minute to get going.
- The vibrations up and down my spine, rhythmic like a pulse, continued to escalate but subsided before I thought they’d get pretty wild.
- Without much thought I drifted off to sleep, or so I thought.
- I laid there, thinking about nothing, letting thoughts pass and just being there in that moment (meditating, just happens sometimes lol).
- I don’t know how long this went on, but eventually I was jolted wide awake by what felt like being shot out of a cannon. The feeling was electric, static, like lightning. Similar to “exploding head syndrome” but full body and with extra steps.
- I audibly said “damn, what the hell,” to which Kim, doing her best to fall asleep next to me, replied with “everything ok?” Evidently, as expected, my physical body did not move even a millimeter during this episode.
- What I think happened was a spontaneous OBE/projection that caught me by surprise, startled me, and in the process of blasting off I ended up back where I started.
- I do want to make a comment that in the last couple days I’ve been pondering doing projection attempts when I lay down for bed at night. Normally I don’t, I’m always tired and sleep is the only thing on my mind during bedtime, but I have been thinking why not? After OBE/projection I feel fine, body sleeps, biological processes still start and complete as designed. It’s just a state of mind while in a tired physical body, outside of it awareness doesn’t need to rest.
- Anyways, pretty sure subconscious was just doing me a solid but in the event also left me woefully unprepared.
December 4, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 30 minutes.
- Mid-week chakra balancing - repeat.
- Dick Sutphen’s “Astral Projection” (strong chakra balancing component).
- I used my Shungite pendant as a dowsing pendulum to see if I should redo the meditation from yesterday afternoon or go with F21. Your belief in these things plays a big role here in my opinion, but to me the biggest upside to using a dowsing pendulum is that once you get your answer it is super easy to stop thinking about it at all and just go with whatever. That last part is critical for successful and well-worth-it sessions. I think the ability to let go and simply flow in this situation arises from “receiving” an answer, this closes the loop so your mind has an easier time dropping the subject.
- Yesterday’s chakra balancing session felt like it failed, so I went ahead with repeating it today. I’d like to make a note though that I don’t always feel that sessions fail, even a meditation riddled with click-outs is beneficial so it’s a bit deceptive in the end as I find it all beneficial. Honestly, after yesterday’s session I did not feel light and energized like I normally do, so it doesn’t hurt to do another one.
- Went as expected this time. No click-outs, maybe a little distracted but nothing like yesterday.
- I’m feeling light and energized.
December 5, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 35 minutes.
- Unguided, no sound science, just an eye mask while laying on my back on the office daybed.
- The theme for today has been multitasking, so when it came to lay down and meditate in the afternoon I had nothing particular in mind.
- This is fine. You don’t always need a mission to attain some occult insight as to level up your understanding of reality.
- Sometimes it’s just nice to not think for a half hour or longer.
- Awake, not thinking, body resting.
- I needed that today.
December 6, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon, 50 minutes, Expand App Focus 21.
- Standard prep sequence: visualization of green and gold door opening to overcast coastline, energy conversion box (cassette futurism theme, stable for about a month), separation as etheric double (glowing green).
- Three-breath energy cycle, protective torus-shaped energy balloon.
- Modified Gateway affirmation.
- Moved through F10 to F12, made presence known: “As the universe is my witness, I am a sovereign being of light. Nothing has power over me unless I grant my freewill consent. This is a freewill zone, only those aligned with unconditional love may approach.”
- Progressed through F15, F18, then F21. Made presence known, rested in awareness while being noticed and “prodded” by energies. Most draining part as always.
- Exit sequence: stopped in F15 for solid manifestation session (played out scenes with every sense and emotion), F12 for contact invitation with NVC clarity—explained I record/illustrate experiences for transparency, no response today. F10 for health affirmations and altered state intent.
Lucid Dream → Projection/Partial Separation
- Post-meditation, fell asleep easily and became lucid quickly.
- Found myself in backyard. Cold temperature, evening sky dark blue-black like before a storm. Familiar setting with sense of foreboding. Can’t recall if alone or with someone—memory feels edited, presence remains but details erased.
- Sky darkened to pitch black, trees swaying. Headed to back patio door to get inside. Door locked. Looking through side windows: inside completely dark, couldn’t feel anything in there.
- Realization: this is a staging lucid dream, essentially alone, about to be over. Time to project.
- Vibrations raced up and down spine from low rumble to steady hum. Body twirled as I sank into vortex.
- Brief blackout, then soft warm light flooded my field of view. Felt myself back in physical body on office daybed but already partially out.
- Static electricity buzzed and popped all around—love this sensation of being pure energy directing will outward like lightning. Steady electrical hum like an engine warming up.
- Got too enthusiastic pushing forward, portion of physical body lifted slightly, snapped right back in. Mission aborted but overall positive experience.
- Reality check: plugged nose, can’t breathe, confirmed awake. These checks before and after altered states reinforce distinctions for the subconscious.
- Checked phone: 3:33. Recalled earlier this year when an invisible hand drew the number 3 three times while I was in a liminal state, I’m on the right track.
December 7, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 45 minutes.
- Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 264-128-64.
- Typical prep process.
- Same progression and work as most of this week’s sessions: F10, F12, F15, F21.
- Nothing particular to report for this one.
- The only thing of note is how I’m beginning to change my approach for F15, specifically right after I tune into that frequency. I spend more time letting it all settle, same approach as with other focus levels. I’ve realized that I spent a lot of my time rushing through things and while for the most part it has always worked fairly well… I don’t think it’s the most efficient way to go about this. It’s like taking a bath but only standing in the water. Yes, you’re in the bathtub, yeah you’re doing all the things related to taking a bath, also, yes you look ridiculous. The time it takes to acclimate to focus levels and/or frequency doesn’t have to take long, and being impatient may mean missing something meaningful or possibly a connection that you’re really looking forward to.
- No bites on my contact invitation today, all good. One point to record: I do feel like I’m being observed when I make my declaration of who I am and my contact initiation. I take this as a positive development. This situation reminds me of The 13th Warrior, a film in which Antonio Banderas plays Ahmad ibn Fadlan, a Muslim ambassador exiled from his homeland. He finds himself in the midst of a Varangian Viking encampment, and the following day there’s another ship docked nearby in the morning. A Viking boy stands on top of the ship, letting himself be seen. Ahmad ibn Fadlan asks his Viking hosts why they’re just watching him and not coming out and greeting him, one of the Viking men tells him that essentially the boy is being polite by letting them observe him as long as possible before approaching. For all the Vikings know, the boy could be a ghost or a trick, they must be cautious. I feel like that Viking boy whenever I make myself known and initiate contact, I’m letting the others decide how to act based on how I present myself.
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