Field Notes
12/14/2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 8th through December 14th, 2025.
This week Ivan (3 years old) told us that “Daddy’s coffee is smoking.” In the mug’s defense, he works triple shifts and he’s got a bad back… also the kids don’t listen and the paint is starting to strip off.
December 9, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 30 minutes.
- Mid-week chakra balancing.
- Dick Sutphen’s “Astral Projection” chakra balancing component.
- Overall felt normal, a little tired.
- Sutphen’s work continues to sink my awareness to depths a little too far if I’m not careful, but overall I managed just fine today.
- Felt lighter and more energized after this brief session.
December 11, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 30 minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, Focus 21.
- Need the rest but also wanted to “defrag” my mind.
- Prep went as expected.
- Worked my way from F10, F12, and then F15. I wanted to go further, but once in F15 I felt tired but also just felt nice to be in F15, so I just stayed here.
- Just because you select a focus level when using binaural beats doesn’t mean you need to strictly stick to it. This is a lot like self-hypnosis with no sound science. The sound helps but isn’t necessary.
- Clicked in and out most of my time in F15. I needed the rest.
- Left foot twitches came back. Combination of being tired and still “with it” helped get back into the zone very quickly each time this occurred.
- Moved to F12 and did my usual contact initiation. Something might have occurred, but I was out of it by this point.
- Exit from F10 normal as usual.
- I need to be more mindful of my overall state before I lay down for a session so I can quickly assess if I should go for it or simply rest. Rest doesn’t have to be sleep; it could simply be F10. Usually I’ll do a 20-minute F10 meditation while at my agency’s office. It serves as a nice break to recharge and be fresh again, and I usually prod at something bothering me during this time (usually personal, sometimes work-related). This is also a perfect time to do a mini “release-recharge” session.
December 12, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 45 minutes.
- Astral Projection Guided Practice by Gammadian Freeman.
- Decided to try something a good friend of mine was recommending. This track is described as “guided dreaming,” and essentially it’s hypnosis with heavy suggestion. I mean, what hypnosis isn’t, right?
- Prior to starting, I spent about 5 minutes laying in silence and letting myself settle. Almost fell asleep. Should have been a sign.
- I liked the intro, the prep. Haven’t done a session where I spend more time deeply breathing as well as tensing up my body and then releasing. I prefer the self-suggested method for relaxing rather than tensing and releasing, but sometimes we have to remind ourselves why we moved away from something.
- Strobes and phosphene action came on quickly, which means I was getting to “ideal state” fast. This would have been a good meditation if I did my typical stuff.
- The last quarter or so of the session I was clicking out pretty reliably. For a normal meditation this can get frustrating, and I’ve learned to just end it and go to sleep, but this one was about sleeping to begin with, so it did its job.
- I was pretty tired at the end. Took a nap afterwards.
- I’m still groggy and tired 2 hours after the nap.
- I think a big part in how I feel right now is me fighting sleep during the meditation. I’ve trained to stay aware and alert and to avoid purposely falling asleep, and yet this session was all about that. The result? Extra tired.
December 13, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon, 40 minutes.
- The Gateway Experience, Wave I, Release and Recharge.
- It’s been a while since I’ve done proper psychological hygiene. Things have been difficult to develop lately, operating energy draining quickly—internal alarms signaling the need for attention and care.
- I’ve also re-introduced a connection I made long ago to help determine daily focus when I lack clear direction. More on that later.
- Nice to slow down and hear Bob’s voice again, gently guiding through the motions.
- I noticed my practice growing stale and realized I’ve been preoccupied with “shadows.” I didn’t immediately recognize them as something to take to Release/Recharge, instead putting it off with “I’ll meditate on that later.” Later seldom comes. If you find yourself here, get to it right away or suffer through stagnation.
- The Release/Recharge tape focuses you on three “fears” pulled from the energy conversion box. Early on I took “fear” literally—useful for low-hanging fruit. The real work is hidden in the confusing, obscured fabric of your inner psyche, where the ego shoves everything meant to be forgotten.
- I worked through three specific fear items today, including a childhood memory involving my great-grandfather that has shaped my relationship with curiosity and sharing ideas. Heavy emotional work but necessary. I’ll write the full piece on this later.
- I have to hand it to myself: while these events had long-lasting effects, I still remained curious—just quieter and more cautious. Those are the “old clothes” now. I’ve burned them. Sharing my curiosity, insights, discoveries, ideas, creativity will no longer be muted behind a cautious and scared boy.
- I ended the meditation with deep understanding and an aching heart for my great-grandfather. I love you.
Lucid Dream → Liminal
- After this heavy session I felt lighter but tired. I rolled over for a nap, repeating my intent to have an altered state experience through lucid dreaming.
- I became lucid in the garage—another favorite staging area.
- Fiddling with something, I realized I’d been doing this for a while and heard nothing from the house—weird with two young boys.
- “AHA! This is staging.” The air shifted and my internal collapse timer began ticking.
- I jumped backwards to float instead of landing on concrete. Closed my eyes and repeated, “Take me through the tunnel.” This wasn’t my original intent and it didn’t materialize. Subconscious was basically like, “Dude, I prepared a thing for you, no.”
- I faded out and began emerging in current-time physical reality through the familiar warm backdrop. Bummer.
- As the transition was occurring, a wild Liminal appeared.
- Been a while since a Liminal has made an appearance. This one started on the bottom right (typical location) but grew to 3/4 of my total field of view.
- We’re calling this Liminal “the transformer”—made of geometric shapes, not quite 3D but flat and constantly moving. Its overall form was some sort of greyscale Transformer. Reminded me of a being made of Rubik’s Cubes.
- 3D beings cast 2D shadows; do 4D beings cast 3D shadows? There’s nothing “simple” about a 3D shadow moving intelligently, making contact, and showing emotion.
- The transformer Liminal was definitely making contact. It materialized, turned and noticed me, turned again to acknowledge me, nodded, then retreated back into the greyish void.
- I find these Liminals an absolute joy to behold.
December 14, 2025
Meditation
- Afternoon.
- 45 minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, Focus 18.
- Sometimes when I feel like focusing on a particular subject while exploring, I like to get into Focus 18 and search my inner for meaning. I also find Focus 18 very restoring and healing in general, even if you do nothing but sit without a “cause,” so to speak.
- Prep was good, feeling mildly tired but overall fine.
- I had to abandon my initial manifestation session while in Focus 15 because I got very itchy all of a sudden. Could be nothing, could be energy stuff. Either way, stopped for a minute to scratch & reposition, got back into “mind awake, body asleep” real quick.
- When back in Focus 15, I immersed myself in “living in the wish fulfilled” once again. I absolutely love these sessions as it takes some energy to get the visualization going, but once it starts I step back and let my senses take over. This one was one of the most immersive sessions yet. In fact, it got to the point that my hearing sense activated and I could hear the kids playing. I could hear Ivan primarily. He’s the loudest human I know and he’s only 3. I was deep in it and at the same time I began to feel myself float up and to the left. This was vivid and jarring as it interrupted the meditation as I gently, yet swiftly, slid out of my body. Upon realizing this I was back in right away. I couldn’t quite reorient my awareness without disrupting what was happening.
- This is not at all uncommon. In fact, one “indirect” strategy for astral projection is to do exactly what I did. This particular method has never yielded results for me until today, so I never really attempted to understand and prepare for it. Perhaps that’s why it worked—it was secondary, a byproduct of the main action.
- I finished the manifestation session after this second break in the flow, declared “Now, I am that”, moved out and expanded into Focus 12.
- While in F12 I made my usual entrance proclamation and explanation of what I’m doing after offering contact, in any way. I rested in this state after that longer than I normally would.
- An NVC transmission appeared. It was a “cut scene” of a 4-wheeled vehicle traveling at great speeds across a desert landscape. The vehicle did not have any apparent “front” nor “back” to it. It was tan/taupe in color all over except for jet black and very fat wheels. Based on the direction it was traveling, though, I could tell that the front was raised considerably above the back, so the main part of the vehicle was tilted up at an angle. I also saw what looked like holes and shafts in the front of the vehicle. It immediately reminded me of rocket launchers. So essentially an offroad rocket launcher traveling at incredible speeds across a desert landscape. The scene zoomed out to show many more, all traveling as a pack in one direction. Kind of ominous, or a misinterpretation.
- I don’t remember if I gave my thanks or not. I usually do, but I was perplexed and not sure if I automatically did it or not.
- I contracted down to Focus 10 and repeated my physical affirmation before making a full exit.
Send a Private note to the author.
Thank you. Your message was sent.