20251215

Morning Run

• Not a typical entry into the weekly Field Notes, but I thought it was neat.
• About 4 miles into my 8-mile run this morning, a rabbit jumped into my path and ran in front of me for at least 3 minutes.
• I was a little surprised to see it jump out onto the sidewalk from a nearby field with bushes, but I have seen a rabbit do this about a year and a half ago a little closer to my house.
• A little more surprising is how long it hopped in front of me, out in the open like that too.
• I don’t think it was concerned about me. Nothing in its presence and physical movements suggested that.
• I started my run at 5:10 AM, so the mini side quest with the rabbit happened around 5:45 AM.

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20251217

Meditation

• Afternoon.
• 30 Minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 15.
• Instead of mid-week chakra balancing, I decided to do targeted subject/question meditation in F15, “a place beyond time.”
• Now, for me I hardly ever have a session like, “well, I just meditated on the question and boom got my answer!” It usually goes more like, “I just meditated on the question and spent half an hour waiting for no-answer.” This is fine. Answers come in many different situations and forms. Sometimes it takes a few of these sessions to get traction, and that’s what I intend to do with the mini side quest that I’m on now.
• Minor, or major, thing that did occur is a dim eye (or eyes) appearing and reappearing, as if checking me out.
• I’ll have more information and write about this side quest after a few sessions, perhaps in a few weeks as I’m planning on my holiday week off to be relatively busy with spiritual work.

Lucid Dream -> Liminal

• At tail end of the session and as I made my exit, I was pretty spent and fell asleep for a moment.
• Became lucid fairly quickly.
• Setting: getting up from office daybed, same lighting and environment as when I laid down for meditation, which was a little confusing at first.
• As I was getting up, I experienced an overwhelming urge to vomit.
• I rarely vomit.
• For some reason I thought that plugging my nose and keeping my mouth shut would help me not throw up as I got up and rushed to the bathroom.
• Tricky part here is that when I did that I couldn’t breathe, which is weird because plugging my nose is my favorite “reality check” method: if you can’t breathe, you’re awake; if you can, then you’re in an altered state. Well, I couldn’t breathe when I plugged my nose, and yet I knew for a fact I wasn’t in a physical and waking state. This made the emergency a lot more real.
• Well, I “made it” in the sense that I did not, in fact, vomit; however, I did end up tripping and falling on the hard tile floor. In the moment of falling into the floor, I felt nothing and broke through it, falling down into a wormhole.
• Traveling through the portal at dizzying speeds was awesome. Love the fast pace and energetic motions.
• Everything came to a stop. Familiar and warm glow behind my eyes enveloped my field of view, then it dimmed and a light/bright green liminal began to form at the bottom right of my view.
• It took its sweet time developing, but when it was done it was still small and in three independent parts.
• The parts were all dancing. They looked like tiny, glowing, green elephants dancing in unison.
• The dancing display reminded me of Disney’s Dumbo “Pink Elephants on Parade” scene, except the tiny elephants were glowing green with varying green shades for stripes (also glowing).
• I observed until they popped out of my existence.
• I’ve also learned to connect Liminals to my meditation sessions since they tend to happen after that and altered state. In this case, based on my pointed and direct inquiry in F15, I’m deciding to view the dancing, glowing green elephants as a “yes” sign, or rather “now you may proceed.”

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20251218

Meditation

• Afternoon.
• 20 Minutes.
• Dick Sutphen, chakra balancing.
• After yesterday’s lucid dream in which I felt like vomiting and ended up falling through the tile floor into a wormhole, I decided that today is a good day to balance chakras, do a little energy work to bring things to center.
• My interpretation of the lucid dream events is that something needed to be purged for new energy work to begin, and that’s exactly what happened there. So, naturally, after an event like that a small tune-up definitely doesn’t hurt.
• Mostly fine. A couple spots where I nearly clicked out, but overall kept my awareness humming along fine.
• After the short meditation I closed my eyes for a moment and fell asleep for about 10 minutes.
• Became lucid in a bizarre dream. It was one of those: everything seems extra ordinary and normal, but when you become lucid you slowly realize that nearly everything actually feels off and is indeed weird (or wrong).
• Shortly after becoming lucid I felt that familiar pressure in my abdomen. Oh no. It wasn’t bad. It was like 1/4th of what I felt yesterday. I kind of chuckled to myself that it came up again, but again it wasn’t an “emergency” this time.
• After I fell in an opening (hard to remember the details of the dream, but it was voluntary), I entered a wormhole/tunnel like many times before.
• While falling through I felt vibrations kick in. Okay, this is an exit into projection.
• I came to on my daybed in the office, same position as before, but I was modulating between physical body awareness and etheric body awareness.
• At one point I realized I was out for a bit but couldn’t see, so I opened my eyes.
• Confusion happened because original “Clarity now” command that sometimes works (I swear by all accounts it should work all the time, but that’s not the case for me).
• So, worked a bit hard to open my eyes, which caused my physical eyes to open. Oh boy.
• When I was in the etheric awareness mode, I saw myself asleep, top-down view at an angle. Pretty clear too, not dim and dark.
• When I was in the physical awareness mode, I saw what was in front of me as I was laying there. I was immobilized, just eyes open. This makes sense as it’s classic sleep paralysis; it’s just now I know what’s going on.
• I spent more in the etheric awareness before I pushed a little too hard.
• Why’d I push? I felt stuck. So, I willed myself a little too hard and ended up back in the physical, rocking forward a bit.
• Intellectually I know what’s going on: never force it. The issue is that instinct takes over after a few attempts of not getting totally/all the way free. I need to rewrite this in my subconscious.

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20251219

Meditation

• Afternoon.
• 30 Minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 15.
• A bit of a generic and relaxing session.
• I made my way to Focus 15 and just rested in the void, letting things unfold here and there but not engaging or paying attention to anything in particular.
• Sometimes this is the kind of session that’s needed every once in a while.
• Afterwards I turned over to my left and snoozed for about 15 minutes.
• Normal dream. I became aware in it relatively quickly but also decided to play along with what was going on.
• The dream itself was set in the building that I work in. I used to think these kinds of dreams were annoying. “Great, I’m at work… again.” I find them to be rather interesting now.
• As most dreams that are packed with layers of meaning, this one wasn’t different. Only after a little while of being lucid I realized I was walking around in just pants. No shirt, no shoes, just pants. Cool, I like this look. Even though I’m lucid in a dream, the emotional reactions are still somewhat automatic, so I was delighted to notice that my reaction was nonchalant rather than “omg I need a shirt!” I mean, like I mentioned, just pants is just fine, man.
• Anyways, I turned down a hallway and was hit with the realization that the dream ends here.
• I began to descend through the floor. Vision blacked out and I heard lots of voices all around me.
• Upon hearing the voices I was briefly startled but then calmed down very quickly. It’s common to hear voices, such as being in a crowded room or a big public place during a busy hour of the day, right as you astral project.
• Once again my vision began to clear up and I was positioned in some way above my physical body. Vision was pretty clear.
• Once again I felt like I “needed to do something” and leaned forward. I felt like my face was being stretched from the back of my head.
• I know not to do anything, to let things settle, but again I keep instinctively attempting to do something. I have to put an end to that automatic reaction.
• After feeling the resistance for a while I relaxed and let myself “fall” back down.
• I felt the whole experience ending, but before it totally did I noticed a couple small, black, and shiny Liminals hanging out in my awareness. Same location as always, bottom right of my field of view. Couldn’t tell what they were or what they were doing. Almost felt like some sort of user interface piece? For whatever reason, this time I’m questioning the purpose of these specific entities in this specific display.
• My vision collapsed for a moment and then I began to open my physical eyes, which were heavy, and I felt groggy. I also felt like I was gasping for breath, and indeed I was. This probably ended things prematurely. Oh well, data is data!

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20251220

Meditation

• Afternoon.
• 30 minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 21.
• We’ve had some excitement around the house lately, and the previous night’s sleep wasn’t as restorative as it normally is. I’m not super tired but also not exactly ready to go run a few miles.
• Having said that, committed to a short-ish meditation for this Saturday with the focus on catching some rest and altered states afterwards.
• Not much to report for the meditation itself other than energy, of any type, was harder to perceive today. Things just feel muted. This is fine. I’m not surprised.

Lucid Dream -> Liminal

• After ending the meditation I rolled over, got comfortable, stated my intent to have an altered state experience in the form of a lucid dream which allows me to project.
• I did a reality check by plugging my nose: yep, can’t breathe, I’m awake. Then I closed my eyes and settled my breathing.
• I fell asleep very quickly.
• I found myself standing behind the couch in my living room. I was immediately lucid and asking myself, “Okay, what am I doing here?”
• After thinking about it for a minute and leaning on the couch, the entire room started to spin and I began my descent into the portal/wormhole/tunnel (I need a permanent term to use here).
• As I came out of the lucid dream and concentrated on the subtle space, I noticed a liminal form against a dark background in my field of view. As this was happening, I slowly became aware of my heartbeat and breathing. My initial thought when I felt those physical conditions was, “Damn, not a projection.” I was right.
• The Liminal was abstract as it typically is, more so now than usual. Maybe they’re getting more complex.
• Regardless of what I thought, I still let next to a minute pass and Liminal no longer in view before I tested moving anything.
• Lifting my head ever so slightly, thinking about that “head-lift” method that was popular a couple months back in the Astral Projection sub on Reddit, I realized that I was without a doubt back in the physical.
• I did another reality check, like I did before this experience, which was the final-final confirmation of waking state.

Projection -> Liminal “Interface”

• After the first experience I still had time, so I did the “nose plug” reality check again to reset and promptly fell asleep.
• Became lucid in my bedroom.
• There were no transitions between this and falling asleep. I went straight to an altered state.
• My vantage point was from the entrance to the bedroom.
• The bedroom was bright, way brighter than the comfortable “cave-like” lighting I enjoy all day long in there. Even with all the lights on in physical state it wasn’t as bright as this.
• Using my intent I navigated to the other side of the bedroom and stopped while hovering over the bed.
• “What now?” I thought.
• Looking to my left was the master bathroom. “No, I don’t want to go there,” I thought. Too bad I didn’t go there. The large vanity mirror would have been fun to look into.
• To my top-right, above the entrance to the bedroom, was hanging a familiar decorative “Khokhloma” plate. “That’s weird, that shouldn’t be there,” I thought.
• So I used my intent to float up and inspect the plate.
• Right as I got to it I was pulled back and abruptly woke up.
• In that subtle space of in-between altered state and waking, I caught another Liminal.
• It appeared at the same location of my field of view as it normally does, and as the one right before this session did, bottom-right.
• Unsurprisingly, this Liminal too was difficult to parse; however, this time it was a structure, like a user interface. I mentioned this the day before with another Liminal occurrence, but I want to stress how in this instance it wasn’t small at all. It took up at least 1/4 to half of my field of view. The shape was geometric, again unsurprising, but it was organized in an intelligent and purposeful way in a grid-like structure. In fact, there were two or three of these grid-like structures, one green and the other deep purple. Once again my immediate perception of this structure was “user interface”.
• Before long the Liminal vanished and I once again did a gentle check of my awareness to make sure I was indeed in waking state.
• I followed that with one last reality check. Yep, I’m back.

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20251221

Meditation

• Afternoon.
• 40 minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 21.
• “Standard mission” as the kind I’ve been doing lately: move up to Focus 21, continue exposing my perception to unfamiliar environments, move to Focus 15 and manifest employing as many senses as I can, move to Focus 12 to initiate contact rooted in transparency of intent, then finally contact back to Focus 10 and affirm physical health. The whole time making sure that I display gratitude and keeping curiosity at the center of everything.
• While in Focus 21 I had a familiar experience of moving through a hall of some sort, shadow pillars to my left and my right. It’s either that or entities moving out of the way as they sense a blind-as-a-puppy form such as myself doing their best to make sense of whatever is going on.
• Manifestation session went well. I continue to remind myself, or rather stop and start over when it happens, to not focus or fixate on how the “wish fulfilled” is manifested but rather just simply “living in the wish fulfilled.” This is very important, and I definitely would get this wrong a lot in the past. It’s such an important point that countless folks deep into manifestation and how it works repeat it as a commandment, but it is very difficult to keep your mind from wandering into those scenarios. It’s not a bug, it’s a human feature. We’re far more interested in the process, the “how,” rather than the outcome, no matter what anyone claims.
• After the session I did my usual intent setting and went for a projection attempt again. I ended up just “resting in my awareness” the entire time. Frustrating, but in the grand scheme of things I take it as something that needed to happen.
• One small detail from the rest of the week: Today, instead of turning over and attempting right after the meditation, I instead got up and used the bathroom and then went back for the attempt. I think getting “vertical” like that for a moment makes things take longer to unfold rather than attempting fresh from a primed state that the meditation always seems to leave me (or anyone for that matter).
• Noted & data point saved.

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