January 7, 2026

Afternoon

Meditation

• 30 Minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 15.
• This week I’m back to physical training, which means: 8-mile runs three times a week, weight lifting twice a week, all morning sessions.
• After a long and relatively relaxing week, it feels so damn good to strap those running shoes back on and get after it, lift some heavy shit, get up early and just go for it for an hour or two. It’s invigorating and tiring, especially the first week back after a break. By next week I’ll be hitting the groove and rebalancing my energy as normal.
• The meditation in general was great. F10 was fast and easy, F12 expansion was nice and easy, F15 took a little time getting to as I had some decent body checks, but overall it was nice and calm.

Night

Hypnagogia

• I don’t have a better category other than “hypnagogia” for things seen before falling asleep. Traditionally, I’ve always characterized hypnagogia as abstract and random phosphene activity with “breakthrough” dream-like sequences popping in and out. I don’t think phosphene activity is all that random and without purpose now. I’ve seen complex patterns and geometric structures emerge from this activity that does not appear random at all. Having said that, I’ve also observed phosphene activity transform into what seems like guided activity. It’s like someone taking a magnet and moving pieces around with intention rather than having them float around like a screensaver (which is most of the time). Lastly, I believe the hand-wavy way we talk about phosphenes as “just” some weird stuff your eyes and visual cortex do before falling asleep serves as a function to discourage awareness of this little phenomenon. Basically, I think it’s a lot more than what we commonly believe it to be, even if it’s “default graphics” most of the time.
• Why am I saying all of this? I had something weird occur while in my usual and brief trance states before falling asleep.
• I’ve gotten into a habit of doing mild breathwork after I first lay down for bed and after settling down a bit. Nothing fancy, simply taking “breathe deeply and relax completely” and applying it for bedtime. The breathwork is good meditation and putting your physical body in a receptive state to fall asleep… isn’t that what I’m doing when I go to bed at night? Except this time I’m not keeping my mind awake. I let go of the whole thing.
• I was observing a very busy phosphene show when something piqued my interest almost directly at the center of my field of view (eyes closed, eye mask on).
• What caught my attention was a pinhole in my field of view. It was close to center but favoring the left side. Extremely bright white, nearly glowing.
• Then it moved to the left, then down a bit, then to the right, then back to the left. Why is this important? Phosphene activity feels like watching a lava lamp screensaver: glowing orbs growing and vanishing in smooth motion either in place or moving across the field of view, and it’s incredibly relaxing. This wasn’t that.
• I locked in on the tiny glowing bright-white light as it made these sharp turns and moves.
• Suddenly it grew considerably, as if it approached me coming from a distance away. So instead of moving left or right, it “moved” forward toward me.
• For a moment it just hung there like that, then shifted again. Then made a curving motion to the left (think half circle) but stayed relatively the same size. When it made these moves, there was a faint “tracing” effect behind the orb-object.
• Finally it pulsed a few short bursts of white light, made a similar curving motion but this time to the right, and made its exit as it seemingly moved from center to top right of my field of view as it shrank and moved “off screen.”
• Shortly after, I took the eye mask off and rolled over to my right before actually falling asleep.
• What the heck was that?

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January 8, 2026

Afternoon

Meditation

• 30 Minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 21.
• REM has returned to normal after the Golden Teacher trip, which means staying lucid during deep meditation has returned to the normal levels of energy expenditure. Good.
• Overall, a relaxing meditation where I got very deep in F10, expanded into F12 just in the nick of time before dozing off, and generally just stayed on this frequency for a while.
• There was no purpose for this meditation, no burning question, no mission. Just relax, or “let go and flow.”

Night

Hypnagogia

• Another bedtime demonstration.
• I’ll be honest: when I closed my eyes and put the eye mask on, I was hoping for another “sentient-phosphene orb” appearance.
• The phosphene show was in full swing tonight. Way more colors than the two or three I’m used to seeing. Fast and slow-moving objects overlapping, motion originating from the center of my field of view and outside of it. Growing, shrinking, sliding, expanding, contracting, organic and geometric shapes, etc.
• A familiar and “distant” point of light appeared. I think I internally exclaimed, “Oh! There it is!”
• It grew “closer” in pulses. This was different. The other night, the movement was not rhythmic to the general phosphene pulsing.
• As it got closer, it began to “charge” itself, or so it seemed.
• When it released, a rudimentary jellyfish appeared with tentacles outstretched toward my point of view, then retreated and changed direction so the head would travel to the top right.
• It kept doing this in pulses, like swimming through a void.
• The general appearance was of strands of light and points with a light dome for the head. The tentacles were geometric but “light-based.” Imagine a tiny lightning storm. Like an electric jellyfish.
• When it was in “orb” form, it was bright white. When in “jellyfish” form, it was bright neon-green.
• I would say these have both appeared at what I’d call “the edge” or “in-between” waking and sleep. It’s hard to tell because I’m not used to focusing on this liminal space when I go to bed for the day, only during afternoons.

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January 9, 2026

Afternoon

Meditation

• 30 Minutes.
• Dick Sutphen, chakra balancing.
• I’d be lying if I said I was “with it” the whole time. Most of the session I was totally there, but toward the end I turned into a bit of a space cadet.
• Right after coming back to present reality, I rolled over for a quick 20-minute power nap.
• When I woke up, I noticed a Liminal trying to materialize, or rather I was trying to perceive it.
• Same spot as usual.
• It looked transparent. I could tell it was moving in constant motion. It also looked transparent, but honestly that’s more on my perception and lack of energy than itself.

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January 10, 2026

Afternoon

Meditation

• 45 Minutes.
• Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 256-128-64.
• Moved through prep no problem.
• While in F10, I felt low vibrations rumble up and down the spine. Stayed with it for a while to see if I could ride the wave out, but ended up like the other day: barely escaped without losing control. Good practice and definitely something developing.
• Spent most of the meditation in F15 doing some loose manifestation.
• Made my usual exit without anything major to report on.

Lucid Dream

• Looks like faculties are returning back to my baseline.
• Used the following intent while exiting F10: “As I count ‘1,’ my eyes open, I roll over and fall asleep, I have an altered state experience such as a lucid dream, my subconscious wakes me up and keeps me awake when the time is right.” Always present tense, just like with manifestation or any other consciousness-related/adjacent work.
• This wasn’t an immediate lucid dream. I became aware of what was going on a little while into the ordeal.
• Setting was my office in a reconfigured setup.
• I became aware when my Mom, who was sitting in a chair, was asking me about something. My response was puzzling but came immediately: “No, right now isn’t the best time to talk about it. I’ll tell you when you’re 90.” Then I dove through the office floor and entered a void in which I traveled through a formless wormhole.
• As I said that and dove in, I could see my Mom sitting there smiling in amusement. Didn’t feel like my Mom’s reaction.
• As I was falling in nothing, I could feel that I was going fast. Then the direction changed. I felt like I was now moving up or forward. I mentally and excitedly said, “Faster! Can’t this go faster!? GO FASTER, MUCH FASTER!” I did.
• I guess I felt like this was one of those in-between transitions that lead to nothing, so I wanted to get the most out of it.
• Sure enough, came to a gentle stop and became instantly aware of my physical body.
• A weak Liminal tried to materialize in its usual spot, just like the other day.
• I stayed still and attempted to instruct myself to “float up” and “exit,” but nothing happened. Also attempted a slight head-lift method but knew it wasn’t going to amount to much of anything.
• New approach: it seems that recently most of these exits from Lucid Dreams end in physical space. Instead of racing to make my exit by myself when I become aware, my new goal is to keep the altered state as stable as possible for as long as possible. I don’t know if that will change much. This decision is simply from the fact that I’m not getting the results that I want, so doing the same thing over and over is pretty dense and inefficient… not to mention, clearly not effective.

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January 11, 2026

Afternoon

Meditation

• 45 Minutes.
• Dick Sutphen, astral projection session.
• It’s been some time since I’ve enjoyed one of these guided astral projection sessions by Dick Sutphen.
• As I’ve mentioned many times before, I appreciate the depths his method takes me to. By the time you’re taken further into the depths, you’re really riding the razor’s edge between losing consciousness and being aware. The best part is how heavy and non-existent the physical body becomes.
• Low rumbling spinal vibrations were present as the physical body fell asleep, just like all week. Remember how I’ve mentioned that hypnosis, self-hypnosis, binaural meditation, gateway tapes, etc., it’s all human trance with different frameworks put in place for mentally navigating state changes? This is another example of that. I know that the spinal vibrations I’ve been experiencing lately come on during settling into F10. That’s not the language used for Sutphen’s hypnosis, but sure enough it still happens because these things are not dependent on any one specific system. They all access the same stuff and work in the same space, BUT it is important to understand that none of them are responsible for anything you experience. They are wayfinding systems. Why so many? Everyone is different. Everyone will respond or not respond to some systems, but it is not the systems themselves that grant these experiences. All of the work to get there is on you. Everything else involved is a tool or technology.
• Not much to report on other than that. Very nice and relaxing nonetheless.
• Said my intent for a projection after the session, then focused on physical body health before making my full exit.

Dream

• While I did not project nor have a lucid dream, I did have a fun little dream sequence.
• The beginning of this dream focused on a shirtless man grooming a brown bear. Yeah, we’re off to a great start!
• At first I was a little confused, naturally, but very quickly it got even more confusing.
• So I’m watching this bald guy. By the way, he was pretty built, and I assume you’d have to be considering how casual he was about grooming this bear (means it happens a lot).
• He whispers something in the bear’s ear and then mounts it like a horse.
• They take off through the snow-covered ground. Oh yeah, it’s a sunny winter day.
• It appears that I’m observing from a bird’s-eye view, like an eagle or owl flying above the main subject(s).
• I was quite impressed by the steady pace that the bear kept and the buff bald dude just nonchalantly riding it.
• They pick up the pace.
• Suddenly there’s a deer galloping in front of them, or rather away from them.
• The bear hits the accelerator, and now they’re really off to the races.
• They chase this deer pretty high up the mountain, and I can no longer see it. Must have gotten away.
• The bear and the rider continue on. Near the top of the mountain, the bear is navigating the ridge.
• I see the rider lean to his left, hanging half-off the bear as it continues to move forward. Since they’re so high up, I notice that the rider is intently looking for something. It’s a little confusing given the situation.
• Suddenly the rider leaps off the bear and down the face of the mountain as if to base jump and/or proximity fly… but there’s no gear on him. The bear continues up the mountain, and I lose track of it.
• The now-falling man repositions himself in a head-first dive.
• The ground of the valley is fast approaching. I’m thinking at this point that I’m about to see a gruesome scene.
• At the last second, I see a chute open. From where though? Was he carrying it up his butt? Anyways, the bear-less rider lands ever so gently on the valley floor and looks up at the mountain he just leapt from.

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