20260202

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20260203

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20260204

Afternoon

Meditation

• 30 Minutes.
• Dick Sutphen’s chakra balancing.
• Woke up this morning feeling hungover. Didn’t drink last night, so I’m paying a price with no admission. To be honest, I’m upset about the not drinking part.
• Not really sure if it was the lack of usual wind-down time last night or going to bed a half hour later than usual.
• I put on the chakra balancing hypnosis tape and just let it run.
• I was tired, I am still tired.
• I figured I’d just fall asleep or snooze a bit, but to my surprise I stayed with it the entire time.
• There was a moment in the track that was sparse of anything, basically open-ended for whatever you’d like. I used the time to just be, feel my overall being.
• I’m still tired, but I do feel better.

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20260205

Afternoon

Meditation

• 30 Minutes.
• Expand App, timer section, Focus 18.
• I’ve had an interesting relationship with “my guides” throughout my practice, and by interesting I mean about as exciting as talking to walls. I’ve gone through the motions to reach out and connect. I’ve asked for assistance, or a dialogue that I read about so often. I’ve always paid attention to my intuition, perhaps more so in the last few years than before. Getting sudden bursts of clarity on whatever subjects I’m churning through, or unexpectedly, are common to me. Maybe I’m too dense to realize that these things are communication from guides that I ask for… but once again, none of these things are new, none of them occur because I requested them. These things have just always been there. I highly suspect I’m not special in this case at all, I view it as a function of expanded/expanding awareness. Essentially: help and knowing is always there, it is you who makes the choice to pay attention.
• When I turn my meditations toward my Higher Self, however, I can and do count on some sort of feedback in some way. It occurs, it happens, mostly outside of the meditation itself. So, with that in mind, I’ve decided to dedicate a good portion of my practice to reaching, meeting, and directly communicating with my Higher Self. After all, wouldn’t your Higher Self be the ultimate guide who has all of your best interest in mind?
• Today’s session concentrated on moving to Focus 18 and “dropping” into the heart. I believe I achieved that, I have had some experience with this in the past purely out of curiosity.
• Sometimes I get a little too ahead of myself and have the urge to do something when in focus states. This isn’t ideal. What’s ideal is setting your intent prior to the meditation, forgetting about it, and then just going with the flow.
• Recently I’ve done a lot of “loitering” in focus levels before getting to what I set out to do, and I believe it’s because of this process. I stop focusing on the goal, so perhaps I spend more time here and there because I need to, for that goal.
• Once in Focus 18 and after settling down a bit, on an exhale I “lowered” myself into the heart area. I stayed there until I got the urge to end the session.
• That mental clock again, it’s always on time. I only had 30 minutes, no way to check time when you’re disconnected from the physical, but without fail I begin to end sessions to get out right on time.

Projection

• After the meditation I nonchalantly closed my eyes and repeated, “Now I am out of body.”
• I quickly, and briefly, fell asleep.
• There was no dream-state transition or becoming lucid, I became conscious and immediately felt myself whooshing about (mostly blindly).
• It was fun, I went here and I went there, all over the place. Quickly into the experience I began stating, “Vision now” and “Clarity now.” Things got a little easier to decipher. There seemed to be an object near or around me, didn’t feel like anything menacing or actively trying to do anything. It was just there. The space I was in was like a void, not black nor white.
• All of a sudden I feel a large drop, very fast movement, and pressure as if I was surrounded by rushing wind. It was as if I dropped inside of a wind column. I was in a wormhole again, been a while.
• The trip didn’t take long, and at the end of it I was deposited back into my physical body, gently spiraling down and locking into place.
• I didn’t think of it at the time, but today I didn’t open my etheric eyes like I have begun doing during similar transitions. I think the wormhole/portal experience threw me off a bit.
• Note to self: continue to set the intent, and actively think about, opening eyes before and during altered state attempts.
• The entire experience lasted about 10 to 15 minutes.

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20260206

Afternoon

Meditation

• 45 Minutes.
• Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 128-64.
• The general theme for this meditation was “growth,” and while I wasn’t exactly sure where it’d carry me, I quickly learned that my mission that I decided on a couple weeks ago had already begun.
• I did a quick Tarot pull before this meditation about a question that’s been bugging me for a year: “Received the number 3, three times, a while back after a meditation in a liminal space. It’s been following me around since (“333”, “3:33”, etc.), what does it mean? From who? Why?” What the cards revealed was interesting, a little surprising, and most importantly, confirming the situation at hand. In short: the message “333” while related to the broader interpretations in “angel numbers” also has a personal component, obviously. “3” three times was a start of a message, direct response to “who are you?” when I encountered my first Liminal experience. It is the energy signature of the message/sender/frequency, I don’t know yet, but that’s definitely looking to be part of it. The year-long persistence, the Eight of Wands still in flight, the synchronicities—it’s a message that requires my participation in completing the reception rather than being passive about it.
• The question I should be asking during my sessions: “I received 3 as the opening of a transmission. I’m ready to receive the complete message now.” I did not do this today, I went with the general “What does 3 mean?” to open this inquiry and see if there was a response/interest. There was.
• Usual prep and same new and natural way of going about my meditations: think of the intent before starting, work through prep to put myself in receptive state, let my awareness become a lazy river and float me down where I need to go without actively “working” and spending energy steering the situation. This has been an awesome and welcoming change to the usual process and not one I had to focus on, it just happened on its own. Today I noticed that I’d get the strobing flashes emanating from behind my eyes as a sort of nudge to move on. I was in F10 for a bit, lazily settling in, etc. At some point the flash came and my response was, “oh, right” before expanding in F12. In F12 the same thing happened after I let myself naturally expand, like another prompt letting me know to move along as things are set.
• Once I finally dropped into F18 (heart space), that was my destination of choosing prior to the session beginning, I proposed my question and released it to all parts of my consciousness and in all ways. I then rested and remained receptive.
• Some visions came through but nothing that caught my awareness. I began to drift and wonder, then I heard my name “Anton!” very audibly in Russian by a familiar female voice. I do not know who it was other than the signature about it felt like someone I should know. Can’t say if it was family or friend, that would be too easy at this stage.
• This snapped me out of the mini trance. I responded, several times, but nothing more came. I felt like I needed to go, like I was out of time. I said my gratitude and dropped out of the F18 frequency.
• My usual and total exit went without issues.
• Before I was out completely I set intention for an altered state (present tense as always). I was pretty tired and sleepy at this point but spent most of my hour getting close to losing consciousness and then regaining physical awareness. I wasn’t frustrated though, I like the feeling of the transition. Interestingly this also felt like I was more interested in stretching the “forward” transition from waking to asleep. Experienced a couple moments of that, so it was good practice and I regard it as success. I have no idea why I naturally gravitate to “stretching” time, stopping it, etc. when it comes to these transitions. Maybe I’m just curious and know that I can… I used to do the trick described in Stalking The Wild Pendulum during grade school while staring at the clock, that was my first taste in this kind of process.
• I did have a brief nap toward the end of the hour. I spent some time revisiting some of my old home and places back in the North Eastern and far East Europe (Russia).
• Good session, reinvigorated in my mission regarding Higher Self.

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20260207

Afternoon

Meditation

• 40 minutes, Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 128-64-32.
• Same mission: Get into Focus 18, ask question, rest in awareness.
• Same prep and progression: Rest in F10, strobe from behind the eyes signals to move, expand into F12, strobe signals time to move, climb to F18 and drop into the heart.
• This new workflow continues to feel completely natural. All I needed was time to get used to frequencies, shake up my practice with a strong accelerant and agitator, and continue embodying “let go and flow.”
• Once in F18 I stated: “I received 3. I heard the melody. I heard my name called. I am here, I’m listening, I’m ready to finish the message.”
• Some murmurs of voices, like a public place. Common encounter.
• Rested in my awareness, slightly more alert than usual. Began to drift, let myself do this as it felt needed. Nothing happened except one brief moment: I saw “3:33” flash in front of me. White text against the void, slightly off-center favoring top-left, slightly skewed downward (last three sliding to bottom-right). Don’t believe the positioning means anything.
• Recognized it instantly, stayed with it, then got the “silent” cue (it’s a feeling) that time was up and made my full exit.
• Finished exit in F10 with intent for projection and physical affirmation.
• Next session simplifying the query to: “I received 3. I heard the song. I heard you call my name. I’m listening.”

Projection

• Took headphones off, kept eye mask on, rolled to my left, began falling asleep with one deep breath.
• Once again repeated, “Now I am out of body” humorously, light-heartedly, good attitude, not taking it seriously. This new mindset emerged on its own.
• Falling asleep same as last few times: get close twice, third time crossed point of no return.
• Somehow continuing awareness in that transition moment. I’ve developed ability to maintain awareness in exit from one state to the next. Now doing it from waking state into sleep/losing consciousness. This “forward” awareness into in-between and liminal space has a different overall feeling. I can sense losing consciousness, my field of view becomes static but calm deep-brown field with dark vignette.
• Here’s where persistence in staying aware through this “forward” threshold is paying off: I knew the exact moment my physical body was out and my etheric body activated. Split second moment—because I’ve focused hard here I’m able to stretch this time just enough to know it’s time to go.
• Right in that split second I thought, “Well, if I get up right now and it’s my physical body then whatever, not like I’m losing projection time, I’ll fall back asleep.” So I rose off the bed. Still facing left, right arm outstretched upward, torso up and away from physical body, left arm stuck. Yanked, then rested thinking maybe I should coax it out being calm. Didn’t work. Yanked again, right arm flailing above me trying to grab something to help pull me out. Nothing.
• Instinct running strong, knew I had to get as far from my physical body as possible. Vision there but mostly murky, needed to move to clear it. Somehow knew this.
• I’ve never dealt with this before. Always end up somewhere outside my body already. Lately that’s not happening, it’s straight up: “Here you go, now work for it.” Can’t shake a feeling this too is a lesson, training, whatever. Why now? Why not before?
• General low-volume humming during this. Quiet hum but felt electrical, possessing power, the kind of stuff I love. You can also “feel” it while you move. No resistance in movements (obviously of parts not stuck), like being made of air, but there is feedback in the sense of electricity. This sensation puts me in the headspace of limitless power, invulnerability, and absolute calm.
• This went on until it was obvious I had to let go and stop for today. All in all good, I have more data.

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20260208

Afternoon

Meditation

• 40 Minutes.
• Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 128-64-32.
• The intent was to repeat the session from yesterday. I managed to move through (new) usual prep and go with the flow of it all.
• Once in F18 I did propose the question, but something else was on my mind: I’m feeling under the weather and while I did my best to remove that from my headspace… it was still there.
• I mostly rested in this meditation, went in and out a couple times.
• I overshot my “allotted” session time by about 10 minutes. This is not typical for me, so I really am under the weather.
• After a successful exit with a much needed physical affirmation, I simply turned over and took a nap for a little less than an hour.
• Things happen for a reason, back at it next week as I heal up.

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