Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for February 23rd through March 1st, 2026.
Monday | 20260223
- Sun: Pisces 4°
- Moon: Taurus 21° | Waxing Crescent
Afternoon
Meditation
- 25 Minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, F12.
I’m doing my best to document sessions when I’m away from my home office. I’ve had one extremely unique and bizarre experience while meditating during the lunch hour at the office building where I work; aside from that it’s pretty basic. Most of the time the goal for these meditations is to mentally defrag with occasional problem solving. The weather outside is nice today so I opted to close my eyes in my truck. Changing things up a bit, I also simply wanted to focus on Heka mantra, just trying things out. Not sure if I achieved anything during my 25 minutes of solitude other than straining my upper back in the truck seat.
At one point I got distracted and found myself briefly opening my mouth as if to take a bite of something. This has happened before and I don’t understand it. Usually what causes this is some scene, vision, or passing images of me about to take a bite of something… or someone giving me something to eat. It’s so strange. “Well, Anton, did you have lunch yet?” No, I haven’t had anything to eat yet for the afternoon BUT I will throw that notion right back and mention that I meditate after having lunch more often than not… and this still happens. I don’t know what this means. I don’t even eat a lot, I’ve never had issues around or about eating. Who’s trying to feed me!?
Tuesday | 20260224
- Sun: Pisces 5°
- Moon: Gemini 0° → First Quarter
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, F18.
Today’s meditation theme was gratitude. My kids have been taking turns getting sick for the past month, and it hasn’t been exactly just the sniffles. Yes, their issues are resolving but developing a secondary infection (pneumonia) or catching something completely novel and as debilitating as a bad flu has a tendency to wear you down as a parent. Kim and I don’t want to be sick but it’s the suffering of the kids that is the biggest emotional hit. When it comes to my own health I’m solid, I’m healthy, I don’t fear disease sneaking up on me around every corner. When your kids don’t act like themselves, however, when their gaze is reminiscent of someone not present in the current consensus reality, when you desperately long for the supremely annoying things that they do to get under your skin… it’s bad.
Laying down for a session on a Tuesday isn’t common but today I opted to stay home with my youngest boy who’s been running a low-grade fever on and off since the weekend. While he finally settled and napped I took the opportunity to go inward. Following the recent theme of being a bit unfocused and thus lacking basic awareness discipline, today’s meditation was a mixed bag.
On one hand I recognized the need to take my time moving through my progressions where I was a “click-out” king today. On the other hand these focus interruptions were definitely amusing. One such diversion was a vision of Egypt before Egypt; the details are murky but the action and setting were engaging. Eventually I was able to shake off the distractions and finally dropped into my heart space where I immediately went into gratitude mode.
Prior to the meditation itself I thought about what my focus should be given the context of the past month, but when I initiated meditating on it something else entirely came out. Suddenly, I became hyper focused on the families I was born into, families that took me in as their own, anyone and everyone who has shown kindness and patience to me over the course of my life. It’s difficult to explain how something like this derails your plans while still remaining within the given theme, but it also highlights that deliberation as to what to meditate on is often a fool’s errand.
A signal, general gestalt, a notion of what is required from you today is all you need. The details? Trust yourself, you don’t need to prepare.
Sleep Exploration
After the session I had an hour left so I decided to try out a track by Hemi-Sync which has pink noise, delta waves, and some binaural beats sprinkled in. I’ve seen this one recommended a few times now regarding projection attempts. I was under no impression that today was going to be super successful, with how things have been around the house, but curiosity got the best of me.
The track: https://youtu.be/Hvy_9SMvEsM?si=ObsgcdFrgqiq0K95
Without any hesitation I will say that this one will make you speed run into slumberland within five minutes or less. Interestingly enough I rode the razor’s edge of conscious/unconscious for about half an hour without losing footing (unlike the meditation). An experiment that seemed to do the trick was to use the “heka” mantra until it faded out on its own; from that point on I was just balancing my awareness.
After trying that track out I put everything away and rolled over. Comparing how things unfold if I use the track designed for sleep/deep states versus just on my own. Well, what do you know, fell asleep within five minutes on my own. Became lucid in a dream, a familiar hallway at the office building where I work, and proceeded to almost instantly drop through the floor and exit the whole thing. In the middle of the exit I focused on the etheric double and attempted separation/projection but ultimately just ended up coming to a waking state on the daybed.
Interesting session all around.
Wednesday | 20260225
- Sun: Pisces 6°
- Moon: Gemini 9° | Waxing Gibbous
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Dick Sutphen, chakra balancing.
Yep, that time of the week again. The self-hypnosis meditation went without incident. Nothing major to report on. My mind has been on cycles again lately. I started reading “AEtheric Magic: A Complete System of Elemental, Celestial & Alchemical Magic” by Ike Baker over the past weekend. Considering that Hermetic traditions were built from Egyptian esoteric traditions (Egypt before Egypt), seems wise to dive into this one for a bit. There’s a mention in the opening chapter of how they understood that there are cycles to non-physical kind of work. I notice cycles within my own practice, the kind that don’t arise from a personal external event or some other condition. More on that as I dig deeper.
Thursday | 20260226
- Sun: Pisces 8°
- Moon: Cancer 9° | Waxing Gibbous
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- TMI “Oscillations Free Flow.”
Fairly relaxing session today, just hanging out in Focus 18. Energy was good and progressions simple, aside from leg and foot twitches that kept breaking my focus. Getting back on track has been without issue though, so a normal session overall. I did click out a bit toward the end but nothing major. Most of the time was spent in gratitude. Made my exit right when the track was coming to an end, crazy how well that lines up.
Friday | 20260227
- Sun: Pisces 9°
- Moon: Cancer 20° | Waxing Gibbous
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, Focus 12.
Busy day with unconventional meditation times. The theme for today’s session was “problem solving.” A convenient skill to have is the ability to spot when you’re stuck in a loop. Thinking deeply and logically is a requirement for many things that I do but sometimes that’s simply not enough.
If you’ve used LLMs in the early days of ChatGPT’s commercial debut you’ll remember the common phenomenon of finding the chatbot stuck in a loop, dragging you along with it, repeating the same patterns over and over. Not surprisingly humans aren’t that much different, they just mask it much better from everyone, and most importantly from themselves. The earlier that you catch yourself doing this the better.
I was stuck on a problem that had no clear path in sight this afternoon. Instead of stubbornly digging in further and lying to myself that I’m not traveling around and around in an intellectual loop, I laid down for half an hour and addressed this problem in meditation. Answers seldom come right then and there but they always do one way or another, maybe later that day, week, etc.
The session itself was fine. I switched it up and laid on the office floor with just a small pillow for my head. This situation helped a lot since recently I’ve been clicking out a little too easily. Both of my feet decided to aggressively body check but returning to the ideal state was quick and easy.
Interesting observations about this meditation included: new color to strobe from behind the eyes; visual cues of expanding consciousness in F12. The usual cue that I’m good and settled in a focus state is a quick strobe of bright white light that emanates from the back of the eyes; today as I initially entered F10 the color was yellow (or light gold). When I expanded into F12, right along the actual sensation of expansion, I observed a soft white outline move and expand outwardly around my field of view. That’s definitely new.
I’ve been experiencing a soft, white, bowed outline traveling across my field of view when I create the “Resonant Energy Balloon” (REBAL) during prep; I can even see the line twist into directions I intend after the fact. It’s all brief and doesn’t hang around but it is undeniably happening with the intent, never without it. So now, it appears that I may be beginning to see a similar “soft, white, bowed line” response when I expand in F12.
Saturday | 20260228
- Sun: Pisces 10°
- Moon: Leo 10° | Waxing Gibbous
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Tom Campbell’s binaural beats, 64-64.
Today’s session was about examining a couple of sets of tension that I’ve been carrying around this week. Just yesterday I engaged in a problem-solving session and today, more or less, that was a continuing theme.
Progressions were good, timing was good, held it together and only had a couple of momentary lapses in awareness. Overall, good and solid meditation. I had one audible hallucination of a child yelling either “State!” or “Stage!” Other than that, F18 continues to present soft and dim vapor swirls, not the usual phosphene activity I’m used to.
Sunday | 20260301
- Sun: Pisces 11°
- Moon: Leo 23° | Waxing Gibbous
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Hemi-Sync - Super Sleep, Delta Waves, Pink Noise.
Absolutely exhausted today. Kim and our youngest boy came home from the ER last night at 11 PM. Pretty late for us, also that’s a lot of hours being anxious and nervous about it all. A couple weeks ago our oldest caught a virus that then developed into pneumonia; he got the antibiotic at a “good” time and it cleared up without incident. Our youngest catches the same virus, develops pneumonia symptoms after recovering, and… does not get the antibiotic in time, I guess the test was too early. Long story short, pneumonia wasn’t responding to the antibiotic that he got and we watched him sort of start to recover but lethargy hit hard, and so it was time for everyone to be uncomfortable for several hours. Kim is the MVP here, couldn’t do it without her.
The meditation today wasn’t meant to be anything more than a gateway to sleep. I selected the track listed above for that specific reason, delta waves = fastrack to slumberland. That didn’t happen. As I laid down and did basic prep I was surprised that I slid into F10 (mind awake, body asleep) very quickly and continued to experience present-time awareness. So, I moved forward to F18 (heart center), dropped into my heart and sat there in mostly peaceful stillness.
Before I ended the session I thought this was as good a time as any to ask, “What is the most important message for me right now?” I do this sometimes, and much like problem-solving sessions the answer seldom comes during the meditation. I wasn’t expecting anything and got a reply which has generated more questions on my part. After presenting the question to all parts of my consciousness, and in all ways, for a brief moment there was just stillness. Through that stillness came, “мы увидимся” (“my uvidimsya”) which translates to, “We will see each other.”
