Tuesday - 20260303
Ace of Swords
- Sun: Pisces 13°
- Moon: Virgo 15° | Full Moon
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260321
Afternoon
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Expand App, timer section, F18.
Our youngest boy is continuing to recover from pneumonia, so for the second week in a row and due to circumstances I took today off from work to be with him. After finishing his lunch, taking the antibiotic, and going down for a nap, I followed suit and took the extra time to catch some rest myself.
My energy was good until I laid down for the session. Initial dive into meditation and prep went fine; beyond F10 (mind awake/body asleep) was a bit of a touch-and-go operation. Body checks all over the place — I’m tired and need to rest — despite that I ended up in F18 as planned and cast a question after settling in a bit: “What is already clear and present that I haven’t yet allowed myself to see and understand?” It’s an open-ended question with the purpose of seeing where it goes; in fact, I entered the session with the question as the intent.
While I didn’t get the answer right away — more common than not — the sleep progression that followed was interesting.
Subtle Spaces
I vaguely remember finishing the session and putting my gear away. I do remember lying there, exhausted, thinking if my oldest boy was home from school already I’d be asleep in a blink of an eye. That was the last thought before unconsciousness and a very haphazard, yet not memorable at all, dream that followed.
What I do remember is the precise moment that the dream began to end and the exit that followed. Of course I did — I’ve been practicing awareness in these transitional states for over a year now. Imagine a fluid, always changing, and confusing dream begin to fade into a white field of view. From that transition came a slow change in hue from stark white to a soft, warm, glowing gold.
At the same time the crossfade of hues was occurring, I felt rising energy build up from somewhere lower on my being up to the third eye and crown area. By the time the gold hue was dominant I was feeling a considerable outward pressure. Suddenly, as if someone snapped their fingers, the gold hue vanished in a blink of an eye and I was faced with a dark yet warm void. It wasn’t pitch black but more like the color of rich, deep-brown soil.
There was complete silence in this moment. The sound machine, which is always on in the office during sessions to block out outside noise, was silent. I struggled to open my eyes — I couldn’t — I was also very disoriented and didn’t attempt to activate etheric vision. I felt something sit on the daybed; there was also a conversation unfolding that I could not understand. I heard voices but not words. I felt a presence and shifting of their weight but no vision.
This is where I would normally slow down and “let go and flow” about the situation; however, my oldest boy wasn’t home yet when I laid down and the first thought was that maybe he had just gotten here and it was him. So I struggled to force my eyes open and in a few tense moments they did.
As soon as my physical eyes began to crack open under considerable straining, the conversation and the presence vanished, the soothing sound of rushing wind from the mechanical sound machine started to return, the dark and cool lighting of the office came into view. Before this moment I was in between worlds.
Had I had more energy, had it been a “typical” day, maybe things would have unfolded differently. Nonetheless, I had gratitude for the experience, stretched my limbs, got up, and woke up a cranky 3-year-old.