Field Notes 20260311 - Wednesday
Balance.
Afternoon
- Sun: Pisces 21°
- Moon: Sagittarius 25° | Last Quarter
- Mercury Retrograde: 20260226-20260320
Meditation
- 30 Minutes.
- Dick Sutphen’s chakra balancing track (one of several).
As usual it is the middle of the week and a good time to do a bit of maintenance before heavier sessions in the second half of the weekly cycle. Having said that, I’ve noticed a pattern, of course, with these sessions.
Last year I could roll right through in a “mind awake/body asleep” state with very few click-outs (spacing out, losing awareness momentarily or completely) if any at all. This year, it seems, after a seemingly fixed amount of time, I reliably begin to click-out. It doesn’t feel habitual, so I don’t view it as a problem to solve.
Perhaps my focus on the threshold, liminal, “the in-between” states drove me to develop this reaction. In order to succeed in attaining such states there’s a careful balance of awareness and willingly and strategically letting go and flowing, which often results in a momentary loss of awareness. Even simply balancing on that razor’s edge of awareness, I believe, has retrained my nervous system, or another function responsible for redirecting states.
Alternatively it could simply be that I’ve gotten lazy, too relaxed, and/or too confident. Ultimately I won’t stress about it. I’ve had enough experience with this new deficit or change without realizing any loss in efficacy of sessions. Perhaps my preferred mode of altered states just got deeper, and this is simply a reality for meditations and me going forward.