Journal Entries
Field Notes: January 11, 2026
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for January 7th through January 11th, 2026.
The Broadcast Theory
During one of my familiar, and at this point staple, stops in Focus 12 I inadvertently set off a cascade of events that helped bring into focus what I've been suspecting for quite a while. The first section is purely personal and subjective but it is important to observe before laying out the hypothesis. I will paraphrase before expanding on everything: What appeared initially as personal communications from guides have transmuted into a much more digestible and broadly defined communication modality.
Homecoming
On December 31st, 2025, I consumed 4.5 grams of Golden Teacher psilocybin. My ADHD brain processes the compound differently than most - instead of flooding the visual cortex it routes straight to cognition, amplifying the already multi-threaded thought processes running in parallel. Zero visuals during the peak, just 10+ tracks of thought simultaneously unfolding. I ended up meditating through it, watching the elephant symbolism arrive: historical images, intimate close-ups, and one particular elephant face smiling, laughing. The laughter felt welcoming but also knowing - it recognized the performance aspect, the ego wanting to see, wanting to learn, the impossibility of self-exploration without ego entanglement. The elephant knew. Perhaps I was laughing at myself.
Field Notes: January 4, 2026
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 29th, 2025 through January 4th, 2026.
2025
Self-portraits are a specific kind of category of creative work that I simultaneously absolutely enjoy viewing and dread doing it myself. Percept Index presents a unique opportunity for me as my long-term project: a way, a reason, a need to produce at the very least a single self-portrait and at semi-regular intervals, such as once a year. So, in the most 'I'm an artist, witness me!' way possible here is my self-centered and completely ego-driven contribution to the year of 2025.
Field Notes: December 28, 2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 22nd through December 28th, 2025.
Field Notes: December 21, 2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 15th through December 21st, 2025.
Mental Sink
The beginning of my journey with deep meditation and altered states exploration was primarily focused on shadow work, and rightfully so. Eventually once you make some headway and see not just beginner progress but real and impactful changes, there's a natural tendency to coast, or sometimes completely forget how you got there to begin with. Fear not, this is a self-correcting problem. When it's been a while since you've done "housekeeping" or what I like to call "psychological hygiene", you'll know because you will let yourself know.
Field Notes: December 14, 2025
Every session contributes to the larger picture, sometimes in ways that only become clear later. These "field notes" record the process as it happens, offering perspective when I look back. Here are the Field Notes for December 8th through December 14th, 2025.
Spherical Energy Outline
Field Notes entries focus on brevity and getting to the point of the particular session or experience that was had. They also include other events that happen which seem to be out of the norm, they're worth recording in case we can spot a connection or simply to document. What I seldom ever do is discuss my own base process and how I go about getting my meditations started. In today's longform journal entry, I will be outlining what I do as my meditation starts and the phenomena that I've been tracking for the last 6 months, which I'm finally deciding to write about.